Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Welcome to another Friday filled with glorious sunshine – or the slippery slope of man-made climate change, depending on whether you’re a glass half full or half empty sort of a person.
We’ve been scouring the length of Twitter – but not the depth, because there be crypto bros – for the funny stuff that makes the app worth keeping.
Enjoy.
1.
female best friends: have cried together and supported one another through their darkest days and brightest moments
male best friends: accidentally wore the same shirt to a bar five years ago and have worn that shirt at every get-together since just to see who will blink first
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) May 13, 2025
2.
If it’s raining and someone doesn’t say “It’s a good day to take a nap.” Is it really raining?
— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) May 13, 2025
3.
Her: Do that thing I like.
Me: *makes garlic bread*
— Benny Boy (@Camel_Crushin) May 12, 2025
4.
If something happens to me please be sure to delete my browser history….
I don’t want anyone to see all the recipes I viewed and never made.
— Carmella Cannoli (@piccolobutt) May 13, 2025
5.
Ghosts were people who lost the will to live and died trying to fold fitted sheets pic.twitter.com/aGsC9bCJji
— Craig Deeley ️ (@craiguito) May 16, 2025
6.
If you text me at 2 a.m. "wyd"
I'm coming over and playing Baker Street on my Saxophone
— Earth Angel (@simplyme519) May 12, 2025
7.
I’d appreciate your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. My neighbor gave her kid a whistle today and I fear I won’t survive it.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) May 13, 2025
8.
Nothing stresses you out like Microsoft Word asking if you would like to save the recovered version of the file instead of the originally saved file.
— Maddy ️ (@MadHatterMommy) May 16, 2025
9.
Couldn’t find my phone to hit the snooze button because I was already holding my phone, so maybe don’t ask me for life advice
— meghan (@deloisivete) May 15, 2025
10.
It's 80's day at my 10yo's school so I made him walk there without a water bottle and told him to be home before the street lights come on.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) May 15, 2025
11.
I got my kid a remote controlled toy car and its manual says “Charge time of 90 min for run time of 15 minutes”.
This is why aliens don’t talk to us.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) May 15, 2025
12.
Magnum Cart.
The singular of Magna Carta. pic.twitter.com/PCy8LRc2GX
— David KC (@DavidMuttering) May 15, 2025