Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Hello and welcome to the Poke’s round-up of the best that funny Twitter has sent across our timelines in the past week. It’s your cue to grab yourself a few minutes away from the grind – maybe even with your feet up and a nice cuppa, but not if you’re on the tube. That’s frowned upon.
As always, give your faves a follow.
1.
The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song "Stan" which is about one of his obsessed fans.
What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’?
We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”
— Merriam-Webster (@MerriamWebster) July 8, 2025
2.
I recently hired a handyman. I presented him with his list of tasks to get done, but on further inspection he’s only done numbers 1, 3 and 5. It turns out he only does odd jobs!
— Adam Pearson (@Adam_Pearson) July 8, 2025
3.
IMMERSIVE EXPERIENCE?!? pic.twitter.com/nLJAhnfthC
— Susan (@SusanThePink) July 8, 2025
4.
They should do a reverse Jurassic Park as a prequel.
200 million years ago dinosaur scientists genetically engineer humans and then desperately try to stop us as we breed, destroy their environment, and make prehistoric versions of Love Island.— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) July 6, 2025
5.
Lessons include:
*defeating hunchbacks in battle
*marrying
*annulling weddings
*remarrying
*executing wives
*more marrying
*breaking with Roman Catholic church
*dissolution of monasteries
*remarrying multiple times
*defeating armadas pic.twitter.com/8vQERftSvY— Thinkwert (@Thinkwert) July 9, 2025
6.
the crushing weight of two very manageable tasks pic.twitter.com/s7UbZYvEmN
— erika (@yeeeerika) July 8, 2025
7.
Shoutout to my dog who will literally eat cat shit given the opportunity, but try and hide a worming tablet within a pound of cheese and suddenly he’s Gordon Ramsey
— Cockney Cabbie (@Cockneycabbie_) July 9, 2025
8.
Looks like she’s about to move into her first bench pic.twitter.com/gPwsl3bpgW
— Ruth Husko (@dank_ackroyd) July 10, 2025
9.
men why is your shampoo also your body wash also your car soap
— ً (@traderjoeslut) July 8, 2025
10.
"Sir, this is a Wendy's."
Yeah, so? Like Wendy's employees don't deserve to know about Freemasonry's ties to Archduke Ferdinand's assassination and the outbreak of the First World War?— Zack Stentz (@MuseZack) July 5, 2025
11.
wife: and this is me with the kids in Hawaii…their father isn't in the picture
friend: that must be so tough on you
me: to be clear, I took that photo
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) July 6, 2025
12.
Prometheus was the first to be cancelled for a hot take.
— Eduardo García-Molina (@eduardo_garcmol) July 9, 2025