Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
We’re really, really sorry, but it isn’t Friday. Our 25 favourite funny tweets are in a temporary new slot for a couple of weeks. but that doesn’t mean you can’t get that Friday vibe from them. Take a break, get the kettle on, have a laugh – and show your favourites a bit of love.
1.
Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.
— Slim Plimsoll (@slimplimsoll) August 23, 2025
2.
If sitting down in a towel after a shower and staring at the wall before work is meditation, then yeah, I meditate
— meghan (@deloisivete) August 25, 2025
3.
When I was a kid they played lame music for middle aged people in the supermarket but this morning at Whole Foods it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.
— Matthew Yglesias (@mattyglesias) August 24, 2025
4.
I could never ban phones in the classroom. Many of my activities require students to use their devices to like and repost my tweets
— John Attridge (@John_Attridge) August 24, 2025
5.
Recipe: add 1/2 cup chocolate chips.
Me: pic.twitter.com/4VX5vTnNxR
— Not Today Eric (@NotTodayEric) August 23, 2025
6.
If you’re a southerner, your national anthem is the theme from ‘Bergerac.’
If you’re a northerner, your national anthem is the theme from ‘Taggart.’
If you’re midlands, your national anthem is the theme from ‘Inspector Morse.’
Now can we please just get on with our lives.
— Manfuego (@manfuego007) August 26, 2025
7.
Crazy that dudes think duck hunting is hard. I just went to a pond in my grandma’s neighborhood and caught 9 ducks with my bare hands using 3 slices of bread.
— The Lord of Leisure (@LeisureGod69) August 21, 2025
8.
If I knew my phone call to customer service was actually going to be used for training purposes I’d talk like Yoda:
“Much screwed up my order it was”
— ScottW (@jswtreeman) August 25, 2025
9.
Having trouble opening my Roomba’s dust bin so I’ve been leaving laxatives all over the floor
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) August 23, 2025
10.
never take advice from a man with a ponytail hole cut into his fedora
— Jizzlane Maxxxwell (@dankcharnley) August 24, 2025
11.
Went blind from watching a welding video on YouTube
— Mr. Meat Scraps (@ReallyLoudFart) August 23, 2025
12.
After impressive Premier League performances by Liverpool’s Rio Ngumoha (aged 16), and Arsenal’s Max Dowman (aged 15), Man United unveil their latest signing pic.twitter.com/btdw6EGmgz
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) August 26, 2025