A ‘biohacker’ influencer told women to get up early to make themselves beautiful for their man – 14 funniest and totally on-point smackdowns
We’ve not averse to giving so-called ‘life hacks’ the treatment they deserve on these pages, and they don’t come more outlandish than this.
It’s someone called ‘Andrea D. Huberwoman, PhD’ – PhD, do you hear at the back? – who describes herself as ‘ZKPs. Crypto Maxi. Esoteric & Existential. Biohacker. Accelerated. Milfmaxxing.’
Can’t say we understand all of those but you get the idea.
Anyway, we mention her because of this particular life hack which she shared, in response to a report suggesting men’s testosterone drops by 30% after they have children.
To the hack!
This is why you’ve got to keep staying sexy as a girl. Set your alarm to wake up before him so that you can fix your hair and makeup and “wake up” next to him looking like a goddess in your push-up bra.
Don’t ever get comfortable! https://t.co/reWpqAL6OT pic.twitter.com/q7hpN3cidx
— Andrea D. Huberwoman, Ph.D. (@thegenesisbl0ck) October 28, 2025
And, well, if you’re wondering if you’re thinking what everyone else was thinking, we reckon you are 100% correct.
1.
https://t.co/Yb06MQdNaP pic.twitter.com/HOvV0hwNVa
— rachel yara (@bugposting) October 28, 2025
2.
I hate to break it to you, but if your man doesn’t think you’re sexy without makeup and push-up bra, you married the wrong guy.
This is one of THE KEY signals that you’re matched well on a biological level.— Laura (@IndieLauraSDG) October 28, 2025
3.
i’ve been wearing a sweatsuit for the past 12 hours and i’m pretty sure my husband is still gonna give me the business tonight. you guys are weird as fuck https://t.co/EoodOQUVr6
— mindy (@mindyisser) October 28, 2025
4.
No. I’m going to be a human being. Sometimes I’ll dress up and sometimes I’m just going to be real. He should be a grown man. Not a man-baby that needs a fantasy to stay interested. Not a weak willed little bitch who can’t see u w/out makeup. Your husband sounds weak.
— Erin (@ErinDusty) October 28, 2025
5.
I once pissed the bed while sleeping next to my boyfriend, and blamed it on him when he woke up. https://t.co/JcjtQYwYMA
— Marisa Baldassaro (@Nerdspringbreak) October 28, 2025
6.
I’m sorry your husband isn’t attracted to you for you. That sounds exhausting and sad.
— The Countess of The Black Hearts (@vixmcintyre) October 29, 2025
7.
woman drinking white wine at 5am wants to give you life advice https://t.co/dJgvRL9mQ5
— Cathedrals Seer (@jasminegalx) October 28, 2025