‘What’s a psychological ‘cheat code’ you use in social situations that works?’ – 22 mind hacks that would make Derren Brown proud

Do you ever wish you were able to perform the Jedi mind trick and influence someone’s thoughts through subtle manipulation? Well, it turns out you can, Luke Skywalker. Or you can try, at least.

Over on the AskReddit page, user Prestigious-Use6804 posed this question:

What’s an actual psychological ‘cheat code’ you use in social situations that works almost every time?

And lots of wannabe Yoda’s chipped in with their thoughts, like these…

1.

‘Being comfortable in silence is power. Especially in any sort of negotiation, complaint, somebody asking for something or vice versa. For some reason when you stay quiet people break.’
–Larson37

2.

‘Speaking at a lower volume if someone is being unnecessarily loud.

One of my best friends has a LOUD voice she is completely unaware of, which can be incredibly annoying when we’re in public, so I will lower my speaking volume and she will subconsciously lower hers to match my volume.’
–inkyblackops

3.

‘My hack has turned into a hobby. I look for people doing a good job. When I find someone that is pretty good at what they are doing I make sure to compliment them, tell their boss the good news, and, if applicable, I tell corporate.

It’s surprising how much that helps the person, how much it confuses their boss since its not a complaint, and how long that its remembered. Later on, if I return to the same place I get better treatment and that can lead to others you are with to think better of you.’
–Badcapsuleer

4.

‘Someone doesn’t like you? Give them a genuine compliment. Keyword: genuine lol.

I worked with this girl and we disliked each other. One day I just looked at her- she’d gotten her hair done – and I said ‘That looks really good on you!’ and her usual stankface went to confused so fast. But you have to mean it – I did, it suited her. But your enemy will leave you alone for a while as they go ponder what chess game you’re playing.’
–hereticallyeverafter

5.

‘Benjamin Franklin had a similar method. He asked his enemies to do him a small, simple favor. Borrow a book, for example, ask for advice. Something very small, very basic, non-monetary.

He found that when someone did him a favour, no matter how small, it made them feel as though they were friends, as that is what friends do.’
–Orzhov_Syndicalist

6.

‘Remember what they said to you the last time you saw them. If you last saw them a month ago, if you remember they were doing a thing , remember that thing and mention it.’
–stefancooper

7.

‘Remember everyone has an invisible tag on around their neck saying ‘Make me feel important’.’
–Piece_de_resistance

8.

‘It’s a meditation exercise. Before I go to an event, I imagine the room, the people in it, and the way I want to feel while I’m in the room. Sometimes I imagine a light sweeping over everyone like it’s sprinkling good vibes. I’ve noticed that it makes me feel more confident and easy going when I have some anxiety about going somewhere.’
–cambiokeys

9.

‘When someone is angry – like irrationally, psychotically angry – get them to say ‘yes’ to anything (e.g. Are you mad? Do you want help? Do you want me to give you space?) It engages a different part of the brain, and after that’s engaged, you can help them with problem solving.’
–bp_516

10.

‘I pretend everyone I meet is in love with me. I mean, not literally. I’m not a complete narcissist. But I’ll start conversations with strangers who give me a smile or a knowing look. Assuming they like me makes me feel more likable. I’ve made friends more easily in my 30s than I did at any other time in my life.

Romanticising my life is fun, and gets me to act more vivacious and charismatic. It’s also just good practice for higher-stakes social interactions where I might lack confidence.’
–slytherins

11.

‘All people have insecurities.’
–7_DisastrousStay