Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Happy New Year. We hope you weren’t mortally offended by London’s fireworks, and that your resolutions will at least last long enough to give you something to feel smug about for the rest of the month.
On the most confusing Friday since Fridays began, we remind ourselves that it isn’t Monday, and present our first Tweets of the Week of 2026 – although a bunch of the actual tweets are from 2025.
We hope you enjoy them, and they distract you from thoughts of having a sly smoke or skipping that stretching routine you’ve saved on YouTube.
1.
rewatching avengers: age of ultron. despite the title, they never tell you how old ultron is
— frye (@___frye) December 29, 2025
2.
Arachnophobia is so stupid. Just let the spiders get married, why should you care!
— Bob Golen (@BobGolen) December 29, 2025
3.
Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.
— Louise Jensen Duffy (writing as Ernest Jensen) (@LouiseWeebe) December 28, 2025
4.
morrissey was right about some things. for instance i was looking for a job and then i found a job and heaven knows i'm miserable now
— julie (@obscenelydolled) December 29, 2025
5.
Nobody:
The British Museum: pic.twitter.com/HM9mClvs6b
— Out of Context Human Race (@NoContextHumans) December 29, 2025
6.
[my parents flexing on me] when we were 25 we bought a 3-bedroom house on a single income
[me flexing on my children] when I was 25 I bought a laptop with 16GB of RAM on a single income and one side hustle
— Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) December 30, 2025
7.
Evri will never find it. https://t.co/EC6ECoyWce
— Freddy C. (@FreddySky) December 28, 2025
8.
Getting older is asking yourself questions like is this a pulled muscle or am I going to die?
— Tater (@TrueTorontoGirl) December 30, 2025
9.
Harry Potter and the half-cooked mince. pic.twitter.com/XLpY3Ud1zB
— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) December 30, 2025
10.
If by New Year's Resolutions, you mean the list of cheeses I plan to eat in 2026, then yes, I made a list of New Year's Resolutions.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) December 31, 2025
11.
“are you busy tomorrow?” my dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me
— ᩚ (@mskmalibu) December 30, 2025
12.
I got fired from my job as a set designer..
I left without making a scene.
— (@PontistGirl) December 30, 2025