25 of the funniest posts we’ve seen on Bluesky this week
We’re at the outer edge of the statute of limitations for wishing people a happy New Year, so that’s what we’re doing as we welcome you to the first funny Bluesky round-up of 2026.
It’s many people’s first week back at work, half of us have missed the crucial bin collection, and we’re all staring aghast at whatever TF the US is up to right now. We deserve a laugh, and we reckon this collection can provide it.
We hope you agree.
1.
How the living room feels after we’ve taken the tree down.
— Tokyo Sexwhale (@tokyosexwhale.bsky.social) January 3, 2026 at 9:32 PM
2.
“This is the best thing since sliced bread!”
– first person to use toilet paper— Craig Deeley (@craiguito.bsky.social) January 3, 2026 at 10:39 AM
3.
Just realized that Emperor Qin Shi Huang's "Terracotta Army" of clay soldiers he kept in a vault in like 200 BC make him the first Warhammer Guy. he got some disposable income and started painting minis. totally get it
— Erik Hane (@erikhane.bsky.social) January 4, 2026 at 3:11 PM
4.
If you're watching a Scandinavian murder show, watch out for the guy with the shaved head and the beard, he did it, unless he has a scarf, then he's the detective.
— Woodrow Peel (@woodyluvscoffee.bsky.social) January 3, 2026 at 5:32 AM
5.
Nothing fills me with rage quite like money I’ve spent leaving my actual bank account like I just bought that as a joke why are you taking it seriously
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman.bsky.social) January 4, 2026 at 8:06 PM
6.
From Twelfth Night, if memory serves.
— Jason (@nickmotown.bsky.social) January 3, 2026 at 7:14 AM
7.
Taurus: You will live like a king this year. Isolated, paranoid, never sure if anyone’s affections are genuine.
— Sorrowscopes (@sorrowscopes.bsky.social) January 4, 2026 at 6:08 PM
8.
Did you know you can sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” whenever you feel like it? It’s literally a whim away.
— Bethany Black (@bethanyblack.bsky.social) January 5, 2026 at 11:51 AM
9.
This could go badly for me.
— Michael Brunström (@michaelbrunstrom.bsky.social) January 3, 2026 at 9:18 AM
10.
me: how do you stay looking so young?
dorian gray: *shifts uncomfortably* essential oils
— Uncle Duke (@uncleduke1969.bsky.social) January 4, 2026 at 2:46 PM
11.
Under my benevolent dictatorship, all recipes which don’t use precise measurements – I’m looking at you, “a glug of wine” – will lead to the writer being sent to the gulag for a “bunch of” years.
— Twlldun (@twlldun.bsky.social) January 5, 2026 at 11:42 AM
12.
I love looking up the word hegemony every six months
— Paul F. Tompkins (@pftompkins.bsky.social) January 7, 2026 at 4:31 AM