Kirsty Paterson, the sad Oompah Loompah.

Weird World fails twitter

It’s two years since the great Willy Wonka Experience calamity, and people still can’t believe what happened

Alistair Coleman. Updated February 24th, 2026

In today’s edition of “Hey! Where did that time go?” it is two years to the very day that the Glasgow Willy Wonka Experience opened. It is also the second anniversary of the day the Glasgow Willy Wonka Experience permanently closed.

And yes, I’m the kind of person who has a reminder set up on their iPhone calendar, along with Fenton the Dog and Four Seasons Total Landscaping day.

Happy Willy Wonka Experience Anniversary to all who are celebrating.

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— Alistair Coleman (@alistaircoleman.bsky.social) 24 February 2026 at 10:04

And what a time to be alive – angry parents, upset kiddies, bewildered actors, and the saddest Oompah Loompah there ever was.

A disaster of the sort that only Artificial Intelligence could generate, families were asked to part with their cash for cartchy tuns and a pasadise of sweet teats.

And who could forget The Unknown? I certainly haven’t. The Unknown visits me when I sleep.

And the internet is still having its say:

1.

I had to check when that happened, I was going to guess 5 years ago

— HappyToast (@happytoast.co.uk) 24 February 2026 at 10:08

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This one’s best sung with a strong Glaswegian accent:

Oompa-loompa doopity den
Ah’ve got some boilin’s
You want some, hen?
Ah ken it’s not like the poster said, aye
But that’s what ye get when you’re using AI

How can you tell if a product is fake
Eedjit thinks “Disney”; they cannae make
Ask a PC to do their home work
Hardly a shock when it
disnae
work

— Bear TK (@bear-xiong.bsky.social) 24 February 2026 at 12:57

In summary:

And there’s one bit of good news. Boosted by her fame as the sad Scottish Oompah Loompah, Kirsty Paterson emigrated to Australia, where she is living her absolute best life. Yes Kirsty!

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