Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
It’s Friday, the evenings are getting lighter, the weekend awaits – and Twitter has been very funny recently. We’ve gathered some of our favourite posts from the past week, and we hope you enjoy them as much as we did.
1.
My wife and I are planning a 3 week kitchen remodel , so I expect this to be the most challenging 2yrs of our lives
— Midnight Cowboy 🇺🇸 (@cowboyjeffkent) April 11, 2026
2.
Publisher: So you've given us a book about a big friendly giant, one about an enormous crocodile, and another where a granny grows as big as a house. What's new?
Roald Dahl: There's this peach…
Publisher: Is it –
Roald Dahl: It's fucking huge— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) April 13, 2026
3.
missed a call from the Crash Test Dummies this morning pic.twitter.com/UOfB909AlA
— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) April 16, 2026
4.
things my mother asks for when she wants to watch “Only Murders In the Building”:
– There is Death In My Neighborhood
– There’s a Mystery in My Apartment
– Everyone Dies in Our Building
– Martin Short— Janel Comeau 🍁 (@VeryBadLlama) April 12, 2026
5.
Thank you for giving us 3 minutes back at the end of the call, I will devote that time to my true passion, thinking about cheese
— meghan (@deloisivete) April 14, 2026
6.
Can Jesus turn off his walking on water power, or when he dives into a swimming pool would he just bounce across the surface like a skipping stone?
Today's religious debate is brought to you by…
— Wilde Thingy (@wildethingy) April 15, 2026
7.
Just found out about recency bias, it's gotta be the best and most interesting kind of bias
— maddy catgirlprostate (@catgirlprostate) April 16, 2026
8.
my friend asked what lipgloss I had on and it was the grease off a mcdonalds hash brown
— three steaks pam (@alexandrakuri) April 16, 2026
9.
CHILD PRAYING MANTIS: Dad, who are we all praying to exactly?
DAD PRAYING MANTIS: Depends which religion you belong to
CHILD: So not all bugs follow the same religion?
DAD: No, son… we’re in sects— Adam Sharp (@AdamCSharp) April 13, 2026
10.
I have some concerns with your choice of picture for this story @BBCNews pic.twitter.com/Xfll0cZtcb
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) April 16, 2026
11.
"I'll wait here" pic.twitter.com/9hIMweBnPY
— Paul Bronks (@SlenderSherbet) April 14, 2026
12.
if my TV's so smart then why doesn't it slap me when I turn on the news?
— Natalie Would (@_NatalieWould) April 14, 2026