Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Hello and welcome to the Poke’s round-up of the funny stuff that caught our eye in the past week. Naturally, the heatwave crept in there, as did a little bit of politics, a hot meme, and a few puns.
We hope you find something to make you you laugh.
1.
Finishing the dishes and seeing the one pot left on the stove that I forgot: pic.twitter.com/tsiqgVs15Z
— Ayômîde 🧢 (@Haryormdey4u) May 27, 2026
2.
robert pattinson in every damn movie pic.twitter.com/uo4WSpXcT5
— r. 🍦 (suicidal) (@irobatzy) May 27, 2026
3.
Glass is a poor choice for slippers. Doesn’t breathe. Terrible traction when dancing with princes.
— Annie Hatfield (@AnneHatfieldVO) May 28, 2026
4.
Gluing a microchip and an LED light to a hair clip, saying it “tracks your hair” and selling it to Grimes for $11,000
— Claire Penis (@ZeroSuitCamus) May 29, 2026
5.
I’m like the opposite of AI. It took me over half an hour to write a simple email, and I didn’t consume a single drop of water all day.
— Wholesome Side of (@itsme_urstruly) May 27, 2026
6.
Thought of a new sentence that uses every letter of the alphabet: "My made up word: Bicfghjklnqvwzst."
— lewis (@Lewiswbt1) May 27, 2026
7.
Autocorrect knew I wanted to spell Motörhead, but insisted I wanted to say what the duck.
— Larry’s Twin 99 (@LarrysTwin99) May 28, 2026
8.
The great British heatwave is underway. The supermarket is packed. The sausage aisle is busier than a nightclub on New Year’s Eve. One man has no top on. A woman just said “How about some kebabs on sticks? Will they do?” A chap just muttered “mustn’t forget coleslaw”. Someone…
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) May 22, 2026
9.
"Maybe if I come back in literally 3 seconds the glass in this window will have been removed”
– flies— Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️🌈 🇺🇦 (@craiguito) May 26, 2026
10.
[Watching Aquaman with my new girlfriend]
ME: *leans in* there's a lot of Sea G I in this movie Sharon lol
HER: Get out.
— FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF (@sofarrsogud) May 26, 2026
11.
When you're on your eighth "Damn that's crazy!" And they are still telling you their story! pic.twitter.com/N16sbVJkIp
— Jim Corbridge (@MrBonMot) May 28, 2026
12.
Why does Sting look like the head of a planetary council in a science fiction film pic.twitter.com/TB0mJ3hWvn
— David Hering (@hering_david) May 28, 2026