‘What’s something you overheard on public transport that you definitely weren’t meant to hear?’ – 23 NSFW eavesdropped shockers

People gabbing away loudly on the bus is usually very annoying, but sometimes you zone into a conversation that is so thrillingly juicy it would almost be worth missing your stop.

They’ve been chatting about this on the AskUK subreddit after SupaDuppaaCoool posed this question:

What’s something you overheard on UK public transport that you definitely weren’t meant to hear?

And lots of people chimed in with stories about heroically loose-lipped fellow passengers, like these…

1.

‘I speak a lesser known Eastern European language, but, a lot of migrants from there live in the UK. Native speakers treat it like a secret language and talk openly about very personal stuff assuming no one understands them.

On the tube I heard someone say ‘it was good sex, but, I have had the itchiest vagina since’.’
–NotoriousP_U_G

2.

‘I used to be a conductor. And some of the pictures I’ve seen when people scroll their phones to find the screenshot of their ticket would make your hair curl.’
–Born-Wasabi8016

3.

‘Someone on the phone reading out their full credit card number, expiry date, CVV, and billing address.’
–Opposite_Radio9388

4.

‘I was on a train a few months ago where a woman was on the phone with someone whose personal details she was asking for. She put him on loud speakerphone while she noted down all his personal details, so this poor bloke was unknowingly announcing all his personal details to the whole train carriage. Me and another woman spoke up and told her she should take him off speakerphone and she seemed completely confused why what she was doing was wrong…’
–rosiehannahd

5.

‘I was on the rush-hour train trying to get from Paddington to Honeybourne a while back. The whole train was packed but there was one lady bitching loudly about “Gabby” to a friend. No one else was talking to each other, and everyone could hear the conversation whether they liked it or not.

When we got to Reading, some people started leaving the train, and in the midst of all the movement, we heard her say “Oh… Hi, Gabby. Didn’t realise you were on the train!” We didn’t hear her talking after that.’
–BeetlesBlue

6.

‘In an airport, a man very loudly telling the people on the table next to him all about the breakdown of his relationship – he discovered she was cheating on him after she gave him an STD. Which is obviously deeply unfortunate, but probably not what everyone wanted to hear about at 8am.’
–spiderplant94

7.

‘Someone talking about their client’s media spend and it was a very big brand… I also work for a marketing agency so it was interesting intel. I have also heard people slagging off their clients too.’
–HanksyDoodle

8.

‘Just the other day a lass treated a very large portion of the train to an Apprentice-style dickhead speaker phone call that also gave us login details, repeated so she could write them down, to her work email and payroll system.’
–CodAdministrative765

9.

‘Person A: “She tried to sleep with him when he was cheating on his girlfriend with me, soooo…”

Person B: (with no hesitation) “What a slut.”‘
–OutrageousRepair5751

10.

‘Guy on my bus once was having a very loud phone conversation about how he’d walked out of an open prison a couple of days earlier and was staying with his Nan on [local estate] because she wouldn’t make him go back, unlike his mum. He then made some quite detailed plans to obtain drugs.

The bus was boarded by two uniformed PCs at the stop by the police station, and they greeted him by name. “Oops, gotta go!” – he hung up. They escorted him from the bus at the next stop. I hope his Nan didn’t wait up for him.’
–bopeepsheep

11.

‘I told him I’m pregnant but I’m not! No. 8 bus in London.’
–No-Dinner-3715

12.

‘Was on a rammed train forced to stand right next to these two sisters. One of them was really gobby and on the phone arranging their night out, in the middle of the call she looked me dead in the eye and said “Actually I won’t say where we’re going out loud, there’s some weird stalker bloke on this train and he might follow us.”’
–Otherwise_Living_158