Somebody asked about ‘really weird’ things people call their partners – 24 utterly bonkers, allegedly ‘affectionate’ nicknames

It’s normal to have a pet name for your significant other. Perhaps ‘babe’ or ‘boo’, or ‘snookipims’, if you’re a total sap.

However, some people take it to an extreme and come up with such a niche nicknames that it’s hard to tell where ‘cute’ ends and ‘utterly batshit’ begins.

They’ve been discussing this on the AskUK subreddit after cobbland shared the tale of the origin of the unconventional, to say the least, term of endearment they share with their partner…

‘What weird names do you call your partner/ do they call you? And I mean.. really weird.’

And – hurrah! – they had their own example to get everyone started.

‘My boyfriend (34M) and I (30F) call each other doctor. “Would you like a biscuit, doctor?” etc. This has developed over about 4 years.

‘We started calling each other angel, my angel etc (cringe). That developed into “my angle” after a predictive text misspelling. Then, we started combining it and started calling each other Mangle.

‘Mangle reminded us of Dr Mengele. Yes, that doctor. But we couldn’t call each other that. So now we just call each other doctor. It’s like our version of “Angel” or “babe.”

D’oes anyone have anything similar? Same goes for what you call your kids, your pets etc.’

A wild ride, to say the least. And plenty of other people chipped in with their own unlikely monikers, like these…

1.

‘My husband calls me Slagathor. I like it, its powerful.’
–happylurker233

2.

‘He calls me The Great Stink of London 1858 :(‘
–ssebarnes

3.

‘Slug. Got massages for the first time ever on holiday a few years ago and didn’t realise you’re supposed to shower after to get the oils off. Sat in the loungers out by the pool and kept sliding down leaving a trail of oil behind us. So slugs.’
–Odd_Championship7286

4.

‘Once my partner and I were playing the Logo Game and he couldn’t remember what Hobnobs were called. After a few minutes of thinking he got frustrated and just yelled “oh I don’t know, Cicero’s Mexican Crumblemunchers!”

‘So now we call each other “crumblemuncher”. This has also evolved into “grumblemuncher” when one of us is being grumpy.’
–badonkadonked

5.

‘My husband calls me “Dave”, from years’ old inspiration in the League of Gentleman. As in “You’re my wife now Dave”.

‘He even writes cards to me, addressed to Dave. I’m a lady… and my nickname is Dave.’
–External-Praline-451

6.

‘I call mine Swedeband. Because he’s Swedish and he’s my husband.’
–CharieRarie

7.

‘My husband calls me Egg. For many reasons but mainly because I just can’t get the pronunciation correct in Welsh (hubby is Welsh). Oh and I’m a good egg.’
–emuostrich31415

8.

‘My husband used to say ‘Look at your bottom!’ because he likes looking at my derrière. That became ‘your bottom!’, and now he just calls me ‘bottom’. Which is fine, except when he does it in front of friends and family…’
–Horror-Kumquat

9.

‘We call each other Faceman. And often taunt each other by asking ‘Why have you got the face of a faceman?’

‘I… don’t really know how it started lmao. But it’s been years and I doubt it will ever stop.’
–SpiderSixer

10.

‘He calles me peckle, a mix of petal and pickle. I call him pork pie, sweet cheese or pork pickle. Now that that I think about it I suppose I really like pies.’
–VacantlyContent

11.

‘I call the missus Chicago Town Pizza. Chicago is the windy city, and she is very windy. Town Pizza because I dunno the rhythm or something.’
–AdemHoog

12.

‘My husband calls me Judge Judy because I have a tendency to judge people we just met for the imaginary crimes I’m sure they have committed at some point in their shady pasts (which I know nothing about).

‘I like to call him Pendulosious because one minute he’s enjoying a new restaurant/a new musician/a scenic walk and declaring that it’s the best meal/music/trek he’s ever had and within 10 minutes it somehow turns into the worst experience of his life.’
–Potato-starch-eater