People shared the most mortifying things their brains ever did on autopilot – 23 hilarious times our synapses left us hanging
13.
‘That’s ok. I drained a whole pan of chicken stock down the sink a while back. All that effort and time to be left with a colander of bleached chicken bones.’
–wintermute023
14.
‘Similarly, I once forgot to walk over to the sink when pouring pasta/boiling water into a colander and just burned both feet!’
–YouHaveGotRedOnYou
15.
‘I sat next to a woman at work whose job it was to do business account courtesy calls. Let’s say her name was Louise. One day, she called a well known customer, let’s call him Gary, who also knew her quite well. She proceeded to start the call like so:
“Hi Gary, it’s Gary. Wait… you’re not Gary, I’m Gary. No wait, you’re Gary. Sorry, who is called Gary?”
‘Some of the best comedy for a long while.’
–Worganx23
16.
‘When I worked in a call centre I was calling someone whose business was called “Play Days”. When the phone was answered I said “Good afternoon, could I please play with Stephen?” instead of “speak with Stephen”.
‘The woman who answered said “that’s my husband” in a furious tone of voice. Meanwhile I was laughing so much I couldn’t breathe. I had to hang up and a colleague had to call back to explain.’
–Rare-Candle-5163
17.
‘A few years back I went to a medium sized corner shop and bought like 5-6 items, had them in a carrier bag on the counter when I was paying. I paid, then just left the shop without the items.
‘Nobody called me back or anything, I had to do the walk of shame back when the shop owner and queue behind me just stood still watching me. Never actually went back.’
–pickindim_kmet
18.
‘When my son was small and I was sleep deprived, we were all playing in a paddling pool with a tin bowl, splashing about in the cold water. Early summer, warmish but not swimming weather. A wasp buzzed near my husband’s face and in a flash I was ready to defend him, bowl in hand.
‘I can still see the beautiful glittering arch of water in the air, at the precise moment my brain kicked in to “Oh. This wasn’t a great idea”, just as about a litre of cold water hit him right in the face.
‘My son is 17 now and my husband has still not let it go.’
–MonkeyHamlet
19.
‘Went to get a jab from the nurse, the second I sat down I started taking my shoes off for no reason.
‘To make it worse it was pissing it down and my socks and shoes were drenched. When I realised what I was doing I had to fight to put my squelshy socks back on whilst the nurse stared at me in complete horror.’
–Novosen
20.
‘Driven all the way to my old works location and only figured it out when I tried to get in the building and there was no longer a card reader there OR A DOOR. Bunch of builders looking suspiciously at me followed by roars of laughter. They are currently demolishing the old building since we moved to the new one across the city. Ended up in work half hour late and never told anyone about my shame.’
–Emranotkool
21.
‘I was eating breakfast a few years ago and I had a glass of orange juice. While I was scrolling through my phone for some reason a thought came to me.
“I wonder if my phone can fit into that glass of orange juice?”
‘In fact it could.’
–fluffyplayery
22.
‘I was crossing the road at a zebra crossing, and went to give the obligatory head nod of thanks to the driver who had stopped, but blew a kiss instead.’
–PickleInterlopingCat