‘What’s the most brutally savage one line roast you’ve ever heard?’ – 22 sick burns that stopped people in their tracks

Who amongst us hasn’t had the experience of being in an argument or confrontation and only coming up with an incredible putdown about three hours after it ended?

But it turns out that some people have the kind of quicksilver mind that can think up an amazingly witty comment in the moment. Over on the AskReddit page, user kamal_dot_one_ai asked this…

And people chipped in with their all time favourites, like these…

1.

‘Surgery RN here. I once had a senior resident tell a junior resident that “Working with him was like working alone, but harder”.’
–Fiireygirl

2.

‘When a fellow researcher was asked if he needed any help he answered “Thanks, but I don’t have enough time for you to help me.” That had to have hurt!’
–nico735

3.

‘Surgery resident here, my favourite has been: “Are you working for the disease or against it?”‘
–FriendsEverywhere

4.

‘I’m adopted as my parents thought they couldn’t conceive then they had two kids after me. One of my siblings was once giving me shit about being adopted and my mom said “Zip it, he’s the only one we planned for. You’re both accidents.” Shut that shit down real fast lol.’
–smutketeer

5.

‘Adopted, too. Once told my sibling, “They picked me out. They were stuck with you.”‘
–SLiverofJade

6.

‘”Oh, you really are like what people say about you.”‘
–Ms_Riley_Guprz

7.

‘Was a barman at a music venue and after this one band had finished their first ‘song’, a lone voice from the crowd called out: “Was that on purpose?”‘
–gary_human

8.

‘My parents’ house has this one sliding door between the living room and a couple back rooms, including an office that my brother uses. He is famous for never shutting the door, drives my Mom nuts. Anyways, one day he comes through and leaves it open again. My Dad says:

“Hey, that door ain’t an asshole, you know. It doesn’t just close automatically every time a piece of shit comes through.”

He meant it as a joke, and we all laughed like hell when he said it.’
–mydreamturnip

9.

‘Woman was berating another woman at the grocery store because her kid (who honestly just looked tired and cranky, not really “bad”) was being loud and generally just being a kid. The woman with the child looked at her:

“Oh, hey, it’s been a while! How are you doing?”

The complainer: “Sorry, I don’t think we’ve met?”

“No? Really? Then don’t act like you fuckin’ know me.”’
–Ryuujin_13

10.

‘I remember hearing one years ago that said, “I bet when people ask your parents about you, they change the subject.”‘
–Magillionaire

11.

‘I used to be a manager at a sporting goods store. We had a guy named Will that was lazy as hell. One day I hear the old man from golf over the headset call him “Won’t” because he “won’t do a damn thing around here” and I died laughing.’
–Str8kush

12.

‘A supervisor in my office told a staff member “I’m not trying to be a dictator” and the staff member said “maybe not the ‘tator’ part”.’
–odgeweiser