‘What is something you used to judge people for until you experienced it yourself?’ – 21 realisations that criticism is way easier than empathy

Being judgemental is a bad quality, right? So much so that we… judge other people for doing it. Which is a hard one to unpick.

It’s hard to go through life without being critical of others, and often it’s not until we are in the same shoes as the person we are finding fault with that we realise we’re doing it.

They’ve been chatting about this on the r/answers subreddit after Savings_Durian3268 asked this…

What is something you used to judge people for until you experienced it yourself?

And lots of people chipped in with examples of how they’d come to empathise with the people they used to condemn, like these…

1.

‘Staying in a relationship way too long after knowing it was over. Used to think it was weakness or low self-worth. Turns out leaving someone you love, even when it’s clearly right, is one of the hardest things a person can do. Judged that in others until I couldn’t leave either.’
–Qu1etResearcher

2.

‘Back pain…you don’t know, until you know.’
–Tailgate3

3.

‘Being overweight. I was naturally skinny and athletic most of my life and thought anyone who was overweight was a glutton and lazy.

Then I got an illness that almost did me in, and the medication plus the inability to do my high energy life caused weight gain that had taken a decade to lose as I have been getting well.

I have repented many times for the way I used to judge.’
–Explorer-7622

4.

‘People being able to control their toddler’s tantrums. I have children of my own now and I completely understand… Toddlers are insane.’
–Ok_Active_3993

5.

‘Being laid the fuck out by PMS (or its wretched cousin, PMDD).’
–TO_halo

6.

‘Being homeless. It’s not necessarily due to incompetence, bad decisions, drugs, or anything like that. You can do everything right and still lose everything. And it’s happening to more and more people with this brutal job market and the prices of everything having tripled in a few years.’
–Up2Eleven

7.

‘People who canceled plans at the last minute because they were “too tired.” I used to think it was rude. Now I understand that your social battery typically drains as you get older.’
–DapperDanAdMan

8.

‘Hay fever. I judged because I always assumed people were being dramatic. I developed symptoms very late in my 20’s. Maybe it was karma.’
–Successful_Ad_380

9.

‘I didn’t know how hard it is to be a stepmom. I many times judged mine because i didn’t understand how she handled some situations. Being a stepmom myself now, I understand everything.’
–SunMclane

10.

‘Not getting/staying with the topmost earning job you qualify for. As a grad student, I respected but quietly judged the staff I came across with PhDs who were not professors. I thought they were being too timid, selling themselves short, or were perhaps lazy in not doing what “they were qualified to do”.

Now, years later with far more experience and understanding of the system, I get it. And I am one of those staff members, loving my non-professoriate gig.’
–OkOutlandishness4047

11.

‘The leash back packs for kids. My daughter was always underfoot. I didn’t have to worry about her, but my son was a runner. In the blink of an eye, he’d be 40 feet away just running. I never had one for him, but I totally get it and don’t judge now.’
–NailFin