‘No one can stop me rolling around naked in my money’

Banker News: Former RBS chief executive Fred Goodwin may be stripped of his knighthood, but he has pledged to continue rolling around naked on a bed covered in millions of pounds.

“You can take away my knighthood, but you’ll never take away the feeling of crisp high denomination bank notes against my naked squirming body,” said Goodwin.

The Government used £45 billion of taxpayers money to bail out the bank, after it ran into difficulties in 2008.

It is widely thought Goodwin started his nude-money-rolling exploits back then, and the financial difficulties came about because so much cash had to be burnt after he stained it with his bodily fluids.

Government officials confirmed his award had been “cancelled and annulled” because the former RBS chief executive “brought the honours system into disrepute”. To which Goodwin countered, “Well, I just brought this £100 note into dis-butt!”

Goodwin then pointed at his own bottom and laughed hysterically before getting into his chauffeur-driven limousine to go somewhere really fancy for dinner.

Story+Image: Simon Swatman