Pensioner Dreading Winter Visit From Well-Meaning But Dull Neighbours

Old News: A pensioner from Suffolk is dreading the inevitable ‘are you O.K?’ visit from her well meaning but incredibly dull neighbours this winter.

“It’s very kind of them to check and see if I’m all right during the winter, but they really are the most tediously boring people I’ve ever met,” said Millicent Britten, 83, from the small village of Snape, Suffolk. “I’ve got lots of friends who have lived varied and interesting lives – these people just go on about the box sets of The West Wing that they’re watching.”

Britten says that whenever the weather gets cold she becomes tense, as it is only a matter of time before her dullard neighbours decide to knock on the door to see if she’s coping. Then out of courtesy, she has to invite them in for a cup of tea and listen to them drone on about some boring topic for twenty minutes.

“Last winter she kept on bringing me round a tupperware with this chicken casserole in it. It almost made me miss the days of rationing.”

Story: Simon Swatman