Is this the best reader letter ever sent to the Manchester Evening News?

Dr Swinefingers writes, “Without doubt, this is the greatest letter ever published by @MENnewsdesk”

Is Alan Partridge writing letters to the local newspaper in Manchester? Certainly someone is, with very specific interests…

Remember this scene?

Alan: Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael come on. Tell me about the lady boys.

Michael: Oh you mean those transsexuals? Aye, I seen them but, you know, they’re disgustin’. I kept away from ‘em.

Alan: Oh god yeah. Fascinating creatures though. Looks like a lady, but really it’s a man. I don’t find them attractive, it’s just confusing. Don’t suppose you’ve got any army stories about them?

Michael: I did hear aboot this corporal right, and he’s in the third battalion this lad, but he’s right mean ok? And he gaans’ oot in Bangkok right, and all the prostitutes is coming up and saying ‘how much?’. And he’s goin’ ‘I’m not paying that’ right? And then this beautiful lassy comes up. [At this point, Lynn is making her way to Alans’ room, knocks quietly on the door and enters]

Michael: [Continuing the story] She’s gorgeous man, and she’s half the price of the others. And they’re getting doon to it. He puts his hand up her skirt, gets a hold of the old ‘meat and two veg’ right. And thinks ‘hang on, I’ve paid me money I’m gonna have summit’. So he flips ‘em over and ffffffff [Michael looks up and notices Lynn has entered the room] And funnily enough, it lands on its wheels and it starts first time and they just drive away.

Alan: [Alan hasn’t noticed Lynn in the room, and as such he is confused by the way the story has changed direction] Strangest story I’ve ever heard. Oh hello Lynn! Oh I see what you were… ahh right, yes. Michael was just telling me an army story about a friend of his who, slept with… a Land Rover. Lonely nights in the desert.

Still, if this has put you in a mind for a Alan Partridge marathon they’re all on Netflix so get stuck in.

Source: https://twitter.com/Dr_Swinefingers/status/754289647434489856