If Donald Trump doesn’t get us, giant asteroid will. Happy Friday!
A giant asteroid 2.2km across will slam into Earth next week with the impact of a huge atomic weapon causing mega tsunamis around the globe, conspiracy theorists have warned.
That’s the good news. The bad news is Donald Trump’s still president.
(not actual size)
NASA says there’s nothing to worry about and the apocalypse asteroid will in fact past 32 million miles away. A near miss, then.
Still, mankind’s inevitable extinction edged closer after the “doomsday clock” – basically, mystic Meg’s alarm clock – was brought forward by 30 seconds by scientists.
Although, let’s face it, it’s not even a real clock.
Donald Trump was to blame, along with climate change, nuclear proliferation and rampant nationalism.
Basically, Trump’s three favourite things.
Happy Friday!