Watch this “Love Song for Jeremy Corbyn”

Today, Jeremy Corbyn is getting married for the fourth time – to the comedian Ariane Sherine. In the brand new music video for ‘Love Song for Jeremy Corbyn’.

Sherine seduces a Corbyn lookalike, ties the knot with the hapless Labour leader, and has his baby – only for the love affair to go terribly wrong when she realises he still fancies Diane Abbott.

Sherine is best known for creating the Atheist Bus Campaign, an advertising campaign sponsored by Richard Dawkins. The campaign ran across the UK in 2009 with the slogan “There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life” – a sentiment no doubt endorsed by non-believer Corbyn.

SONG LYRICS

Though you look like a tramp
You’re a hit with the ladies
And I’d love to have
Your little Corbabies

Though you’re in old age
You still tend the oppressed
I’m female and beige
Will you get me undressed?

Although I’m obscene
I could be a refugee
If you won’t bow to the Queen
Won’t you go down on me?

Though most of your clothing
Is fit for the bin
That won’t be an issue
When we’re living in sin

You say you’re certain
That you don’t eat meat
But I’ve got some beef curtains
That are right up your street

I’ll shuffle your cabinet
And give it a shake
You just tell me
What position to take

So get on your bike
And please ride me home
You’re all that I like
My sweet garden gnome

JEREMY’S RESPONSE:

The words I shall use
Are clear with no maybes
You share my core values
Please have my Corbabies

You’re liberal and hearty
A friend in adversity
You bring youth to the party
And ethnic diversity

My beard will get Velcro-ed
To your lady garden
Which will be a tragedy
Just like Bin Laden

Don’t think that I’m old
Don’t think that I’m slow
I’ve got a huge mandate
As Diane would know

So if you’re a breeder
I’ll unsheath my sabre
One poke from the leader
And you’ll be in Labour

CODA

Ooh, Jeremy
I want you to be there for me
Ooh, Jeremy
I want you to marry me
Ooh, Jeremy
I want you to take care of me
Ooh, Jeremy
Loving you is very me

Ooh, Jeremy
Wear your underwear for me
Ooh, Jeremy
Wear your specs and stare at me
Ooh, Jeremy
I’m so glad you’re aware of me
Ooh, Jeremy
Without you I’ll need therapy

Source: Twitter/@ArianeSherine