People are sharing their most embarrassing toilet stories and you’ll be left totally flushed
11.
Once had a dodgy tum and my teenage son was probably wanking in the bathroom and wouldn’t get out. I ended up legging it into the garden, hiding behind the shed and shitting into a carrier bag.
— Paul v.43.10 🔥 (@paulpaulpaul74) June 10, 2018
12.
Just seen this RT’d so…
Day after an op. Swollen, pendulous knackers. Pulled the seat down as I sat down trapping knackers between seat and ceramic. I could neither get up for fear of ripping them off nor sit and put my weight on them.
I hovered, crying until I eased them out.— Boabus Gaius Washabv (@tomboabs) June 11, 2018
13.
Filming in Africa with the Gurkhas, had a lovely ‘field prepared’ curry. That night whilst in my sleeping bag, an awful feeling of foreboding overtook my bowels. Couldn’t get out of sleeping bag in time. The rest is a brown, watery, hellish nightmare. No longer welcomed in Africa
— ukcameraman (@ukcameraman) June 11, 2018
14.
Had a work mate come in to work one day. He had a carrier bag in his hand. He proudly held it up and to the whole office he said “Guess what’s in here ?! My pants! I shat myself on the way in!”. Classy.
— Stephen the feline enthusiast (@stevethecatnut) June 10, 2018
15.
I was having a night club pooh, two chavs started fighting, which spilled into my trap, pushing me back on the seat mid-push, slicing my disco dookie clean in half. The bouncers then piled in and threw me out for shitting on the seat.
— Aphelion (@AphelionCatus) June 10, 2018
16.
Brother came round to visit. Wife leaves us chatting in the kitchen and heads upstairs for a bath. Foghorns whilst sitting in the tub. We clearly hear the trump (complete with bubbles) in the kitchen below. Conversation abruptly stops and snorting laughter ensues.
— Danny Walls (@iamdanwalls) June 10, 2018
17.
In Sainsbury’s and had to make an emergency dash to their public loos. Whilst I was sitting there, a woman entered the toilets and said to her friend, “Dear God, they need to sort out the drains in here!” I had to wait for them to leave before I dared to venture out 😳
— Joanne Mead (@joannemead) June 10, 2018
18.
Had some stomach issues at work. Made it to the toilet a fraction too late. Had to replace my underwear but no idea what to do with the old ones. Tried flushing them and blocked the loo. Had to fish them out, wait for the place to be empty, and throw them in the bin.
— Andy H (@DoctorCuriosity) June 10, 2018
19.
Fourth day in Thailand and still no poo, due to plane Valium. Finally, at a unisex beach toilet, produce something the size of my forearm which will not flush. Sneak out to face two beautiful Swedish girls in the queue. See them later, at a club. They point at me.
— mrm (@SeasideGeek) June 10, 2018
20.
Year 10 Geography “field trip” (walk to woods) and I desperately needed a poo. Someone opened the loo door on me lowering my arse on to the seat in full view of whole class in ranger’s hut
— Mathsy McMathsface (@AshleyRussell74) June 10, 2018
21.
On train opposite end of carriage to loo. Went in smartly dressed. Train lurched violently. Smacked my face so hard on wall that blood streamed out my nose down my white shirt, and urinated down the front of my beige trousers. Had to walk back to seat in full view. Stay classy.
— Ben (@BenJDalrymple) June 10, 2018
This, however, gets some kind of award for ticking boxes we didn’t even know existed.
18, fell asleep whilst hammered in toilet at shitty nightclub. Staff didnt check loos and I got locked in. At 3am I awoke, in darkness. Trying to get out I set off burglar alarms. Police came, took me home. I’d shat myself as well. Also my mum had reported me missing to police.
— Henry Brubaker (@Idiot_for_hire) June 11, 2018
