The 25 funniest jokes you’ll read this week

Does anybody else think this week had five Mondays? Maybe it just seemed like that to me, but probably also to Theresa May, who saw her beloved Chequers Plan held up as the comedy relief by the EU – but with less laughter. This week also saw Hurricane Ali strike the UK and Ireland and Vince Cable compared Brexit to an “erotic spasm of fundamentalists”. If you can stop shuddering for long enough, these 25 jokes will eclipse the bad and disturbing headlines and put a smile on your face – albeit briefly.

1.

https://twitter.com/iwearaonesie/status/1042972938788581378

2.

I don’t think the 5 second rule applies to this… pic.twitter.com/A27X9UEVfs

— Sunshine☀️ (@Farmlvngirl) September 15, 2018

3.

https://twitter.com/NotThatJonesy/status/1040902710155927553

4.

My daughter has been browsing through the job ads in Beijing. We are hoping this is just a typo… pic.twitter.com/thJSC2JW52

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) September 16, 2018

5.

Good news is I'm learning not to say "fuck off" to Americans as it seems to be about 10 times more offensive to them than to people from any other English speaking country.

— Jemaine Clement (@AJemaineClement) September 17, 2018

6.

https://twitter.com/zebra_crispy/status/1041344081098678272?s=21

7.

https://twitter.com/willoughbydobbs/status/1041683699274838017?s=21

8.

https://twitter.com/Tweet_Dec/status/1041962707564539904

9.

Me: Do you have the Harry Potter audiobook?
DJ: no

— Jon (@ArfMeasures) September 17, 2018

10.

People who sit in the front room at night with the big light on and curtains open are psychopaths

— Sarah (@idlewildgirl) September 15, 2018

11.

I think it's sweet that Stormy Daniel's first pet was called Stormy.

— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) September 19, 2018

12.

https://twitter.com/RomeshRanga/status/1042327422220357633