The 25 funniest jokes you’ll read this week

13.

https://twitter.com/SummerRay/status/1042144292792348672

14.

15.

I asked the vet if I could feed our puppy chocolate? she said no… anyway that was a month ago, Chocolate’s dead now.

— Neil (@_Enanem_) September 18, 2018

16.

https://twitter.com/_coryrichardson/status/1042490897131364353

17.

Son: How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
Me: Hang on a sec. *googles* By 285 AD, the Roman Empire had grown so vast that it was no longer feasible to govern all the provinces from the central seat of Rome. The Emperor Diocletian divided the…
Son: [sadly] With some Caesars.

— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) September 19, 2018

18.

A new doctor who trailer AND a captain marvel trailer? What about trailers with MEN IN THEM. We've only been represented in EVERYTHING, ALL THE TIME FOREVER, and this week PROVES that we are BEING ERASED.

— TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) (@TechnicallyRon) September 20, 2018

19.

My favorite part of hiking in the woods is when you do run across other people, we all have to pretend like we’re not murderers.

— Justin Guarini (@JustinGuarini) September 19, 2018

20.

21.

55 today! Happy birthday Jarvis Cocker. pic.twitter.com/69kw6PSYFK

— Balderdash (@notDcfcBoss) September 19, 2018

22.

I won’t worry about a robot replacing me at work until they build a lazy, careless robot.

— Ben (@0point5twins) September 20, 2018

23.

We live in a society where it's perfectly normal to shave off your eyebrows then tattoo them back on so yes Deidre I can believe how expensive eggs are these days

— Chris PG ▶️ papaglitch.bsky.social (@_Papaglitch_) September 18, 2018

24.

https://twitter.com/Home_Halfway/status/1042802275146706948

25.

Shout out to Storm Ali – risking nothing in this hyper sensitive climate and taking Ireland's 1921 partition lines to the letter. pic.twitter.com/K8NFTYpI8x

— The author, Séamas O'Reilly (@shockproofbeats) September 19, 2018

Don’t forget to tell us if we’ve missed a good one.