Simply 28 very funny Bob Mortimer jokes
15.
Might open a retro vintage coffee hub where lads with Noddy Holder haircuts sell only Maxwell House .. Mellow Birds.. Spar and VG own brand instant coffee and white sliced toast. I will call it ‘Fools Junction’… and they will come #parp
— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) April 5, 2019
16.
CRAB FACT : When no one is looking they walk forwards CRAB MYTH : They only smoke roll ups: CRAB PASTE : £8.00 a bottle
— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) June 1, 2019
17.
CAT NAME SPRING WIPEOUT SALE:
BRIGADIER KNICKERS
RT. HON NUTTY SHITE
RUSS ABBOTS CAPE
DAVES HAND CREAM
PAUL BLART FALAFEL COP
CUPBOARD OF VESTS
AGNES FAGS
GERMAN ICE
LIQUORICE MICK
THE 8TH RON OF LUTON
THAT BLOKE WHAT STINKS8.00 each p.a.
— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) April 25, 2019
18.
FOR SALE: Turkish Viagra paste (could be Crab spread.. I'm not Turkish) £8.00 a tube (serves 9)
— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) June 1, 2019
19.
DCI Falafel of the Poppadom squad will be appearing at next weeks motion sickness conference in Hull : tickets from Buttery Ken c/o Toby Carvery Telford £8.00
— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) May 31, 2019
20.
FOR SALE : Old item that no longer fits under bed due to mattress droop. Has a handle but no safety valve. £8.00
— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) February 21, 2019
21.
Years ago I was staying at the same Hotel as Trump. He had a whole roast chicken and a tin of baked beans for his breakfast
— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) January 20, 2019
22.
ROMANTIC CAT NAME SALE: ❤️❤️❤️
Jonny Fondling
Banana in transit
The gift of Barry
Chocolates near Bottoms
Sentimental Craig
Not Now Raymond
The many chins of Derek O
Meet me at Halfords£8.00 each p.a.
— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) January 17, 2019
23.
Happy #apricotday from Edward pic.twitter.com/C6BCKGxoNi
— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) January 9, 2018
24.
Uggs Benedict pic.twitter.com/tfLuQhyTUD
— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) November 4, 2017
25.
A song for healing. God Bless pic.twitter.com/JeLZKMza2O
— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) May 6, 2017
26.
CAT NAMES FOR SALE
Donny Romance
Ken Rope
Puff Stepdad
Well Done Deborah
Fire Hawk
Valerie Simpleton
The Plasterer£8.00 p.a. each
— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) July 29, 2018
27.
True or false?
Rather than sign an autograph King Edward would simply hand his admirers a potato
— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) November 4, 2018
28.
https://www.thepoke.co.uk/2019/07/19/simply-27-bob-mortimer-jokes/
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