Simply 25 of the funniest jokes from the last week
13.
I hear you, but…prison is prison. https://t.co/5cclYYZxk7
— Amanda Knox (@amandaknox) October 25, 2019
14.
Man in a cafe (talking about his toddler): She sleeps through.
Woman: Yeah that's what my husband thinks our baby does too.— Miranda Keeling (@MirandaKeeling) October 30, 2019
15.
It's so annoying when you ring down for room service and they tell you that you are alone in your house and are talking to yourself on the phone.
— Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) October 31, 2019
16.
Me: I've lost the dictionary
Her: Can you look upstairs?
Me: I can't look up anything
— Ayn Randy (@ItsAndyRyan) October 31, 2019
17.
Be afraid. Be very afraid. pic.twitter.com/Nb3Ua5TIKK
— Michael Clarke (@Mr_Mike_Clarke) October 31, 2019
18.
A 'foible' is something coughed up by cats in New York.
— Jason (@NickMotown) October 31, 2019
19.
50% of all marriages end in divorce which sounds really bad until you realize the other 50% end in death.
— Swedish Canary (@SwedishCanary) November 1, 2019
20.
This day in history. 758. Canton China was sacked by Arab and Persian pirates when a game of naked Marco Polo got horribly out of hand.
— Jimmer Cork-Bottle (@JimmerThatisAll) October 30, 2019
21.
Billy Joel looks like a James Bond villain. pic.twitter.com/aftplG2zeO
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) October 31, 2019
22.
They only drink to forget. pic.twitter.com/gaNLIo7QdK
— Sam Whyte (@SamWhyte) October 31, 2018
23.
Welcome to your 40’s: you only leave the house to get things for the house.
— ERIC THE GREAT (@NotTodayEric) November 1, 2019
24.
I just ate the stalest, grossest, most disgusting Kit Kat ever and it was still better than any salad I've ever eaten.
— Horatio Quartzjixler (@Quartzjixler) October 31, 2019
25.
COWBOY: This town ain’t big enough for the both of us.
CITY PLANNER: No this is just the mockup. The actual town will be much bigger.
— PolterGyver (@TheAndrewNadeau) October 27, 2019
