This Airbnb host’s very specific bathroom instructions are like something out of the League of Gentlemen

It’s only natural when you’re staying in an Airbnb that the host leaves you an instruction or two about how things work, what they expect of you, and how they’d like you to leave it.

But there was something about this list of instructions – specifically about what people should do in the bathroom – that moved musician @ianhickton to share it on Twitter.

‘Actual house rules from the Airbnb I stayed at last night. Is this where @LeagueOfGentlem got the inspiration for Harvey and Val?’ said Ian.

And here they are.

And just in case that’s tricky to read.

‘Please try your best to use the washbasin without splashing the mirror.

‘May I suggest, as a sign of courtesy to the person using the bathroom after yourself, that before leaving the bathroom you wipe dry the chrome water tap and the washbasin using the towel provided.

‘Before taking a shower, please lay the provided floor mat on the floor. When finished please put it back on the radiator to dry. If you are likely to splash the floor when using the washbasin, please do the same when using it.

‘After taking a shower please use the squeegee provided to remove any water clinging onto the glasses, onto the tiles and onto the window in the first floor bathroom. When finished with the squeegee please use the towel that you will find in the bathroom to finish the job of drying the inside of the shower.

‘The purpose of the toilet brush is to remove any signs of your passage, of whatever colour, from inside the toilet (above and below the water line), from the toilet rim, and from the underside of the toilet seat. The use of the toilet brush is not optional. Please make sure you do not leave any traces of your passage.

‘Gentlemen, it would be highly appreciated if you took a seat both for number one and for number two. Please make sure that when you leave the bathroom, the floor is dry.’

In other words, “even though you have paid the air bnb cleaning fee, we want it to look as if the bathroom is clean for the next check in so we don’t have to do anything!”🤢

— Classofwine (@Winewestlothian) 17 July 2019

RULE #156 When flatulence occurs, please be courteous and suck all offending odors back into your anus so as not offend the next person with your offensive gaseous excretions 🤢

— David Alan Grier (@davidalangrier) 19 July 2019

Who in the nine hells uses a toilet brush to clean any part of the seat?

— Tyler @ being alive and not spooky (@theRx_) 18 July 2019

“You have left behind signs of passage, Benjamin.”

— Lewis Cuthbert (@derek_mcgurk) 14 July 2019

And it turned out that wasn’t all.

May we assume the arrow at the bottom meant there was yet more to follow?

— Paul ‘Granny Weatherwax’ Gregan (@LankyYabba) 17 July 2019

Oh there was much more.

— Ian Hickton (@ianhickton) 17 July 2019

Didn’t photograph the rest (which I regret) but this was the funniest. The bedroom one said that guests should not use the bedsheets for removing make-up! For it to have become a rule it must have happened at some point – hmm…

— Ian Hickton (@ianhickton) 20 July 2019

There was this important PS.

For the record the host was very nice and I had a pleasant stay – if I hadn’t read this in detail I wouldn’t have thought anything of it. I of course left the place clean as I do anywhere as basic courtesy. Just thought it was funny.

— Ian Hickton (@ianhickton) 20 July 2019

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This person was panicked by the message from their Airbnb owner and the payoff is 10/10

Source Twitter @ianhickton h/t Indy100