25 of our fave funnies from this week
13.
being into straight men is surreal. one time a few years ago I had a guy over for dinner and he asked to help cook so I told him to halve the cauliflower and when I looked over he was literally trying to rip it apart. with his bare hands. most insane thing I've ever witnessed
— sloane (sipihkopiyesis) (@cottoncandaddy) January 14, 2020
14.
People who say 'one trick pony' as if its a bad thing clearly haven't seen my horse perform a triple bypass
— Laura (@fairycakes) January 15, 2020
15.
It’s raining . . .
8. Cats and dogs (English)
7. Old ladies and sticks (Welsh)
6. Like a pissing cow (French)
5. As from Esteri’s ass (Finnish)
4. Female trolls (Norwegian)
3. Chair legs (Greek)
2. Tractors (Slovakian)
1. Men (hallelujah)— Adam Sharp (@AdamCSharp) January 15, 2020
16.
History exam question, 2120: "To what extent can the reality television franchise The Apprentice be blamed for the fall of western civilisation and the onset of World War III?"
— Jonn Elledge (@JonnElledge) January 15, 2020
17.
REPORTER: So you have multiple inventions that defy the laws of physics. Potentially changing the entire world, as well as our understanding of it. What will you do with them?
WILLY WONKA: *Lips on mic* Keep them secret and use them to make candy.
— MehGyver (@TheAndrewNadeau) January 15, 2020
18.
At some point we need to talk about Postman Pat's business expenditure vs money gained from stamps. Saw him take a helicopter last week before switching to a jet ski to deliver a single letter. First class stamps cost 70p.
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) January 15, 2020
19.
This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.
— Foxy MoneyPants (@GrampaSweater) January 15, 2020
20.
ugh being a woman is so hard. You sleep with your makeup on for ONE decade and all of a sudden your skin is bad
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) January 15, 2020
21.
I’m lazy, but not guy who named Newfound-Land lazy.
— Jeffw (@Jeffwni) January 15, 2020
22.
if you pronounce the e at the end of testosterone it sounds like a type of pasta
— natalie but reborn (@nata41337) January 15, 2020
23.
You finally fork out for pet insurance, but then they refuse to pay out when Shep crashes the car.
— Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️🌈 (@craiguito) January 16, 2020
24.
THEY DID THE CAPTION #Bounce pic.twitter.com/JPuzVu5lKG
— Alistair Coleman (@alistaircoleman) January 15, 2020
25.
Reads like a middle-class person trying not to swear. Interesting to see how Cockwomble does at centre-half pic.twitter.com/WebeAP3nQC
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) January 15, 2020
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25 of the funniest things from this week
Source Twitter Image Hannah Yoest
