Simply 23 brilliantly terrible dad jokes that are guaranteed to take the edge off
13.
https://twitter.com/Dadsaysjokes/status/1093123668576821248?s=20
14.
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
Now I have Heinzsight.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) November 29, 2019
15.
How much space will Brexit free up in the European Union?
1 GB.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) January 30, 2020
16.
I’m reading a horror book in Braille. Something terrible’s about to happen.
I can feel it.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) January 1, 2020
17.
A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.
An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.
A realist sees a freight train.
The train driver sees three idiots standing on the track.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) October 21, 2019
18.
I went into a pet shop and asked for twelve bees. The shopkeeper counted out thirteen and handed them over.
“You’ve given me one too many.”
“That one is a freebie.”
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) July 30, 2019
19.
Her: What do you do?
Me: I race cars.
Her: Do you win many races?
Me: No, the cars are much faster.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) November 11, 2019
20.
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks: “Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”
He said: “They had avocados.”
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) August 2, 2019
21.
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet?
I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they don’t know either.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) March 4, 2019
22.
Why do 9 ants get to live in an apartment for free?
Because they’re not tenants.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) July 4, 2019
23.
Bro, can you pass me that pamphlet?
Brochure.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) February 7, 2020
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