Trump mixed up two Dana Whites, and invited the UFC boss to be the White House Press Secretary – 24 scorching burns

If you were wondering whether Donald Trump has learnt the lesson sent by the electorate during his party’s spectacular drubbing in the midterm elections – why? What about his record of doubling down on his BS made you suspect he was capable of self-reflection? Do you also think he’s giving up his double Maccies order and volunteering in a homeless shelter?

Well, of course, he hasn’t learnt a thing, because his immediate reactions to the political arse-kicking were to –

Go full Captain Delulu about how he could have saved the day if his name had been on the ballot.

Trump: "By the way, I was not on the ballot, just in case you had any question. Because if we were on the ballot we would’ve won." https://t.co/SpIshZ17vU

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) November 6, 2026

Hold a ‘Let them eat ballroom’ press conference.

As Republicans are grappling with the aftermath of major midterm losses and voter anger, President Trump is talking about how the ballroom will be "the most beautiful in the world." https://t.co/0ueOWTmAiw

— Kaitlan Collins (@kaitlancollins) November 4, 2026

Appoint Nosferatu Stephen Miller as White House Chief of Staff.

Good morning and Happy Saturday to everyone who agrees that trump’s pick of Stephen Miller as WH Chief of Staff means his brains are mush and he doesn’t give a damn because Stephen Miller is just an evil, mean, miserable jackass.

2028 will be LIT.
https://t.co/BsHgliwG4N

— BrooklynDad_Defiant!☮️ (@mmpadellan) November 7, 2026

Ask UFC boss Dana White to be the White House Press Secretary.

Yes, Dana White – the owner of UFC, who staged a fight night on the lawn of the White House to celebrate 250 years of US independence, just as the founding fathers would have wanted – has been invited to be the mouthpiece of the government.

Totally normal https://t.co/1KUUm6Cvev

— Andrew Feinberg (@AndrewFeinberg) November 7, 2026

So, not even just Dana White, a man in no way qualified to address the press from the White House lectern, but accompanied by a cohort of UFC fighters. Forget UFC – WTF was the order of the day.

This is known as the "Caligula phase". https://t.co/xZRbwLBdCY

— Sam Freedman (@Samfr) November 7, 2026

He’s recruiting henchmen https://t.co/v0kzYTYIoi

— Scott Barber (@thescottbarber) November 7, 2026

And how much longer is this insanity going to go on? There’s nothing entertaining, funny, or even cringe-worthy about watching this anymore. At this point, it’s just cruel. https://t.co/ZqTnTpL45l

— Illia Ponomarenko 🇺🇦 (@IAPonomarenko) November 7, 2026

As if that weren’t already well beyond reason, it looks as though a Four Seasons Total Landscaping-type error might be behind the announcement.

Reports claim that the eminently qualified former assistant to the Pentagon’s Chief Spokesperson, also called Dana White, was recommended for the Press Secretary job by the outgoing White House Chief of Staff, Susie Wiles, leading to a misfire in the president’s brain.

Irony entered the chat.

People couldn’t choose between schadenfreude and facepalms, so they went for both.