9 of the funniest ‘Nadine stories’ after a Tory MP was accused of exaggerating
Tuesday night at eight was the time chosen for #ClapForBoris, in support of the stricken Prime Minister. We aren’t sure how well it was observed, but it certainly didn’t gain the traction of #ClapForCarers.
No clapping for Johnson in my street. Yours?
— antoine #FBPE🇬🇧🇪🇺🇨🇵🏳️🌈🇪🇸UK/Fr/100% EU (@A_D62) April 7, 2020
While tweet after tweet reported no clapping in their area, Tory MP Nadine Dorries had a different story.
Someone – well, a lot of someones – had trouble believing her tweet.
Is she making this up?? pic.twitter.com/T9qd0FfYw4
— Jude 🇪🇺 (@jude5456) April 7, 2020
They may have had good reason.
No, it was made up for her by an analytic team to try and boost approval… it didn't work, the streets were silent. pic.twitter.com/jvznpHTGOz
— The Haggis (@jimac111) April 7, 2020
The excruciating incident caused people to want to share in Ms Dorries’ inventiveness, with #NadineStories.
We really liked these ones.
1.
I heard a noise outside. My clock is slow. I looked outside and there was every person on my street, all the squirrels and foxes, Lady and the Tramp, Barny the Dinosaur and the cast of Hamilton all cheering for the PM to get better. I admit I cried. #NadineStories
— WeeHalfPintATHOME (@weehalfpintt) April 7, 2020
2.
#NadineStories I heard a noise outside. The clock struck thirteen. There was an out-pouring of love for Big Boris who was not on a ventilator because he is a fighter. We are at war with Covid-19. We have always been at war with Covid-19.
— Russell Bloor (@MoonCat666) April 8, 2020
3.
I heard a noise outside. The clock was melting on the table. I opened the front door of my first floor flat and there was the band of the Coldstream Guards playing "Firestarter" by The Prodigy. I joined in on the kazoo. I'll admit it made me proud to be British.#NadineStories
— Mark S Maquisard 🇪🇺🔶🇪🇺⚫️ (@FanaticRealist) April 8, 2020
4.
Heard a noise outside, clock is slow.I opened the door to the sound of my amazing neighbours whistling, cheering and shouting ‘Now we must forcibly seize the means of production and cast off our chains and establish a workers state.’ I’ll admit I cried#NadineStories
— Mark Harris (@MHarris360) April 8, 2020
5.
I was putting the cat out and a sudden movement caught my eye. It was a small orphan, barefoot in the street, standing on his begging bowl. As the town hall clock struck 8 he sang a mournful chorus of Nobody's Child for Boris. A single tear slid down my cheek.#NadineStories
— Susan Jamieson (@SuzJamieson) April 7, 2020
6.
I heard a noise outside. The clock had stopped. I went outside and saw a little girl in a red hooded coat. I asked her, "Are you all right, little girl?" The figure replied in a soft voice, "I'm fine. But I'm not a little girl. I'm SATAN!" I admit I shat myself.#NadineStories
— Michael Clarke #ProtectTheNHSwithyourvote (@grinningdreamer) April 8, 2020
7.
#NadineStories
Like you @NadineDorries, I heard a noise outside, clock is slow. I opened my front door to the sound of my amazing neighbour from the Young Conservatives whistling, cheering and shouting, ‘F&ck the NHS.’ I’ll admit, I cried.— Wilf Pole Esq. (@PoleWilf) April 8, 2020
8.
#NadineStories I heard a clock outside. Its noise was slow. Then I saw my neighbours naked & chanting ''Boris. Boris Boris'' I stripped & joined them. The pink moon was visible. We clapped together as one & made love in honour of our sick God. No doubt we have the #ClapForBoris
— Captain Trips (@magwitch5151) April 8, 2020
9.
I heard a noise outside. My clock is slow. I looked outside and there was Karen asking to speak to my manager.#NadineStories
— Gwared – The Legacy of Brazda & Seel ✊📕 (@Gwared) April 8, 2020
As well as those stories, there were these other funny reactions to her claim.
😂😂 where does Nadine live? On a film set ? https://t.co/XNh4z8rLqU
— Nick (@Nclarke30) April 7, 2020
Hang on, you were on the phone to me at 8pm asking how long to microwave Micro Chips for. https://t.co/APBqWp4uh2
— Mark ne-Francois-pas MP (@MarkFrancois12) April 8, 2020
This one probably captures the feeling most succinctly.
Nadine's clock is slow, although not as slow as she must think we all are if she expects us to believe this load of bollocks.#NadineStories https://t.co/gfX4K6uiHT
— Colleen Hawkins (@Lady_Colleen) April 8, 2020
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Nadine Dorries bigged up Boris Johnson and this takedown was just ruthless
Source Nadine Dorries Image Nadine Dorries, YouTube