Lockdown laughs: 10 things we’ve learned from nearly two months of quarantine

The UK lockdown has been officially loosened, with many workers squeezing onto packed public transport to follow government instructions.

As we nervously await the almost inevitable spike in cases, let’s take a look at some of the things the pandemic has taught us.

1. You don’t have to be an expert to come up with solutions

I know it feels like we're going round in circles, but maybe one good idea is that if everyone agreed to only turn left and never right, then no one would bump into each other's breath? #StayAlert

— Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) May 11, 2020

2. You might be surprised at the things you miss

I really miss saying "I think i left my false teeth in the pub again"

— Joe Wilkinson (@gillinghamjoe) May 11, 2020

3. There’s something about the crisis that’s making people hungrier

is it even possible that I, a literal human gazelle, so delicate and agile, could have eaten 3/4 OF A LOAF OF BREAD IN ONE SITTING PUT THAT ON DAVID ATTENBOROUGH U COWARDS

— Sarah Phelps (@PhelpsieSarah) May 12, 2020

4. Not everybody is struggling

What seems clear during lockdown that most of my quiz friends were unfazed by the prospect of no meaningful contact with the outside world. We spent years preparing for this.

— Paul Sinha (@paulsinha) May 10, 2020

5. Some things really are worth fighting for

*dedicates rest of life to developing a vaccine* pic.twitter.com/V7p2R2p2ry

— Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) May 12, 2020

6. Quarantine can be demotivating

Not saying I've become lazy with housework during lockdown but I'm just researching whether house-spiders eat bogies.

— Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️‍🌈 (@craiguito) May 12, 2020

7. We’re a little horrified by our old way of life

Remember when you blew out your birthday candles and could blow all over the cake everyone was about eat… without them thinking you’re trying to kill them.. good times.

— Momma G (@TheOnlyMommaG) May 12, 2020

8. People are developing new skills

When this is all over I hope there are lots of job openings for people who can bake bread and put together jigsaw puzzles.

— Just Bill (@WilliamAder) May 11, 2020

9. Lockdown can really mess up a perfectly good scam

Shout out to the bravado of the @Hermes driver who shoved a ‘sorry we missed you’ card in our door, without even trying to ring the doorbell, during a goddamn lockdown. That’s some daring shit right there.

— Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) May 12, 2020

10. Desperation may set in if you’re not careful

I think the U.K. has reached the stage where we’re all ready for Sam Allardyce to take over.

— Francis Foster (@failinghuman) May 12, 2020

Bonus:

We knew we were being led by idiots but we now have a lot more evidence for the official enquiry.

It’s great the kids Boris has said can probably go back to school soon aren’t of an age where they constantly touch their faces and often don’t cover their faces when they cough/sneeze and don’t really understand what 2 metres is and often don’t wash their hands properly and oh

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) May 11, 2020

READ MORE

Lockdown Laughs: 10 things we learned from week 3 in isolation

Image @thibaultpenin and @vidarnm on Unsplash