Masks, the cinema and being forced to get dressed – 15 funny takes on the pandemic
As parts of Scotland go into stricter lockdown and England awaits the verdict on a two-week “circuit breaker”, being stuck in the house isn’t the only pandemic problem on the minds of Twitter’s funny people.
1.
I'm glad they're persisting with shutting pubs and restaurants at 10, as it makes no difference but looks as if something's being done. They should try more rules like this, such as 'all teaspoons must face north' or 'no one can eat a tomato in the afternoon'.
— Mark Steel (@mrmarksteel) October 7, 2020
2.
No thanks, school picture day 2020. My kids' faces from this year have already been burned into my brain forever.
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) October 7, 2020
3.
I ordered a mask simply because it matches my couch, in case you're wondering how my quarantine experience is going.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) October 6, 2020
4.
My bus driver just looked me straight in the eyes and said, "I cant let you on without a mask, sorry love" and is still giggling to himself as he drives. God bless ya you little bus driving comedian pic.twitter.com/co3Yssmy5y
— Kellie Dawson (@BigFashionista) October 6, 2020
5.
“Have you considered retraining as hens?” pic.twitter.com/FkylKZ5tnV
— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) October 6, 2020
6.
I don’t even like going to the cinema when there isn’t a pandemic.
I like to watch a film in my underpants getting shitfaced on gin, and they were surprisingly pissy about it at the Odeon.
— 🏳️🌈 Max 🏳️🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) October 5, 2020
7.
James Bond has pussied out of a pandemic.
It’s a bit off-brand.— Geoff Norcott (@GeoffNorcott) October 5, 2020
8.
After more of his staff test positive for coronavirus, Donald Trump confirms new election strategy of making the White House too dangerous for Joe Biden to move into.
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) October 7, 2020