Downing Street news has turned into a soap opera – here’s the catch-up
Previously on Downing Street Days:
PM Boris Johnson continued his quest to hire so many aides that he’d finally have the time to follow his real calling – painting buses onto empty wine crates.
"I get wooden crates, I paint them, and it will have a dividing thing, and I turn it into a bus, I paint the passengers enjoying themselves"
Boris Johnson is just getting plain weird now.pic.twitter.com/N43YOMujP3
— dave ❄️ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) June 25, 2019
He took on Allegra Stratton – former Spectator colleague of Mary Wakefield, the wife of untouchable SpAd, Vote Leave’s Dominic Cummings – as his official spokesperson.
Allegra Stratton is to become Johnson's new press secretary, she's married to the editor of The Spectator, Cummings wife is commissioning editor at The Spectator, as thousands lose their livelihoods/jobs and go to #foodbanks nepotism reigns Supreme in Downing Street, its obscene
— Loz Argyle ⚓ (@ArgyleLoz) October 8, 2020
Johnson then decided to promote Downing Street Comms Director, Vote Leave’s Lee Cain – who once followed David Cameron around while dressed as a chicken – to Chief-of-Staff, due to the excellent job he’d done in Communications.
Meet Lee Cain (centre) – Number 10's new Chief of Staff. No doubt he'll have *free range* to do what he likes as he's ex Vote Leave and a mate of Dom Cummings. Chlorinated nugget anyone? #Chiefgate pic.twitter.com/1TOlRZo1L3
— Otto English (@Otto_English) November 11, 2020
Enter stage left – Allegra Stratton, insisting she would be answerable only to the PM, or refuse the position.
Enter stage right – *checks notes* – Carrie Symonds – current fiancée of Boris Johnson and mother of his (presumably) youngest child, with an unspecified objection to Cain’s appointment.
Carrie Symonds? But what does Boris Johnson's cousin's brother's physiotherapist think? It's important we know. https://t.co/HmQXN57vW9
— Richard Littler (@richard_littler) November 11, 2020
Back to Dominic Cummings.
Remember him? Barnard Castle? Eye test? 200+ mile trip with a four-year-old without needing to make a toilet stop? That Dominic Cummings!
He wasn’t happy at the treatment of his buddy, Cain.
major power struggle at no.10 apparently between Carrie Symonds and Dominic Cummings to win full control of the amorphous shape shifting blob who happens to be the Prime Minister right now#chiefgate
— dave ❄️ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) November 11, 2020
Before ‘Cummings Vs Symonds and Stratton‘ had even had a chance to go up on a pay-per-view channel, Cain stepped down, leaving the open goal of ‘CAIN NOT ABLE’ headlines up for grabs.
Lee Cain is like when they need to introduce a character in comic books but can't be bothered to actually write them so they just say he was there all along and was really important even though you never heard of him. also he has a name that reminds you of a comic book baddie
— julia blunck (@juliablunck1) November 12, 2020
Is it real? Was it a dead cat chucked onto a table to distract from terrible coronavirus death stats?
Labour spokesperson on the Lee Cain resignation story: “On the day the UK became the first country in Europe to report 50,000 coronavirus deaths and the public endured another day of lockdown, Boris Johnson’s Government is fighting like rats in a sack over who gets what job.“
— Lewis Goodall (@lewis_goodall) November 11, 2020
It’s anybody’s guess.
Lee Cain, Boris Johnson and Dominic Cummings in happier times. pic.twitter.com/wKYaYVSQ2q
— Balderdash (@notDcfcBoss) November 11, 2020