31 festive funnies to get you into a Christmasy mood
It says a lot about the funny people of Twitter that they’ve managed to carry on making us laugh throughout the year from Hell.
Yet, that’s exactly what they’ve done – about the coronavirus, about Brexit, about the US election results – and about Christmas.
Here are 31 festive funnies for you to enjoy.
1.
I will read any article called ‘Best Christmas Gifts’ despite knowing full well that the title should be ‘We threw some darts at Amazon’.
— Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) December 9, 2020
2.
FESTIVE CAT NAME SALE:
Turkey Misbehaviour
Elf Mince
Mistletoe and Brine
Garys Sack
Ruth's Baubles
Presenting Bells
Stockings and Saucepans
Mucky Russell
Sprouts Blackburn8.00 each pa (no returns or other such bullshit)
— bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) December 18, 2020
3.
Interviewer: It says here you are a former child star?
Me: Yes. I guided the 3 wise men to Jesus in the school nativity play.
— Neil Friday McGourty (@Mcgourty22N) October 5, 2020
4.
Why's everyone acting like Christmas being cancelled is a bad thing when 99% of the holiday is listening to people over 40 naming motorways that have wronged them
— Zoë Tomalin (@ZoeTomalin) November 15, 2020
5.
“Officer of course this isn’t a family gathering for Christmas. This is a religious gathering of my cult where we worship a cooked turkey”
— Nish Kumar (@MrNishKumar) December 19, 2020
6.
has there ever been a more extreme heterosexual energy than michael bublé changing "santa baby" to "santa buddy"
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) December 20, 2020
7.
The school nativity play was cancelled this year.
Thank you Coronavirus— joe heenan (@joeheenan) December 18, 2020
8.
The 2020 John Lewis Christmas advert:
A slow piano version of 'down with the sickness' by Disturbed plays. Boris Johnson claps in an empty pret. Dominic Cummings drives his family through a food bank. Santa gets a £10,000 fine for going into more than 2 households. Fin.— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) September 21, 2020
9.
A group of people you can meet up with during Christmas should be called a support Bublé.
— Celya AB (@abcelya) September 22, 2020
10.
🎶 We wish you a merry Christmas,
We wish you a merry Christmas,
We wish you a merry Christmas,
On September the 1st 🎵– shops
— Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️🌈 (@craiguito) September 30, 2020
11.
Now That's What I Call Lockdown Christmas Vol. II. Featuring more festive classics:
– Oh Little Town of Deathly Phlegm
– Pfizer Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
– The First No Smell
– Trackin' Around The Christmas Tree
– A Hands Face Spaceman Came Travelling— Flups (@TheRealFlups) November 20, 2020
12.
As the ramifications of Tier 4 sink in, the nation’s hearts go out to Carrie Symonds. Isolated in No 10 with a babbling, crying infant that doesn't know how to behave at Christmas – and she has to look after baby Wilfred as well.
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) December 21, 2020
13.
just once I’d like to see a christmas film where a woman goes back to her hometown, realises everyone’s still racist and her childhood sweetheart is an idiot then flies back to her wonderful boyfriend and the life she’s worked hard for
— three steaks pam (@alexandrakuri) November 20, 2020
14.
This year the Queen’s Speech on Christmas Day will be an hour long & just her saying what didn’t happen in The Crown
— Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) November 22, 2020
15.
Shot my first turkey today… Scared the shit out of everyone in Waitrose.
— Britgirl Hates Brexit and These Tory Loons #FBPE (@MarieAnnUK) November 22, 2020
16.
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is the monster from A Quiet Place— Ben (@0point5twins) December 17, 2020
