The UK’s quarantine hotels plan is a shambles – 9 favourite takedowns

In a little less than a week, anyone travelling to the UK from a ‘red list’ of countries with concerning levels of coronavirus will have to quarantine for ten days, at their own expense, in one of a number of designated hotels.

Naturally, the plans have been drawn up and the contracts triple checked, so that any last-minute problems can be dealt with.

Oh, wait – no they haven’t.

‘You don’t seem to know the numbers on anything crucial to do with this virus.’

Health Minister Edward Argar tells @piersmorgan and @susannareid100 he didn’t know how many hotels are ready for quarantine or how many people obey self-isolation rules on arriving in the UK. pic.twitter.com/rTPVU6I8Jf

— Good Morning Britain (@GMB) February 8, 2021

The Daily Mirror’s Pippa Crerar was able to solve the mystery of why the minister couldn’t provide any details. There weren’t any to provide.

💥No 10 reveals that NO contracts have yet been agreed with hotels – even though mandatory quarantine comes in *a week today*.

"We're working closely with hotels close to ports and airports and will continue to undertake that work but as of now no contracts have been awarded."

— Pippa Crerar (@PippaCrerar) February 8, 2021

The news – not exactly a shock – led to reactions like these:

1.

they're going to try it on last minute dot com aren't they https://t.co/rYMQwq5lfF

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) February 8, 2021

2.

From the government that brought you the greatest change in our trading rules in decades at a few days’ notice…

Proof that no Tory donors own hotels. https://t.co/UlGejSl2aM

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) February 8, 2021

3.

This is all in hand. We're going to cut out the middle man and just pay Tory donors fifty grand a night to put quarantining travellers up in their duck houses and car ports. https://t.co/HbFcVQv8hz

— Michael Govern Ready (@mikegove12) February 8, 2021

4.

tHey r d0in tHe1r beSt !!!!!!!!111 🇬🇧 https://t.co/dksgIWcsZb

— Sooz "Handforth PC Clerk" Kempner (@SoozUK) February 8, 2021

5.

Are their friends quickly knocking up hotel signs to put on the front of their houses. https://t.co/vCoWw8l6p7

— Jess Phillips MP (@jessphillips) February 8, 2021

6.

Paging Four Seasons Total Landscaping.@TotalSeasons https://t.co/FCoBh7oFOo

— Michael Govern Ready (@mikegove12) February 8, 2021

7.

In fairness, you have to give the ministers time so that their friends can actually build the hotel before they get the contract. At least they're trying to make it believable. https://t.co/KVItZ3nteg

— Ryan Love (@RyanJL) February 8, 2021

8.

Update: £4bn hotel contract awarded to Tory donor who has a spare room https://t.co/YVVyMIgoLe

— James Moran (@jamesmoran) February 8, 2021

9.

"Couldn't find an empty hotel in a pandemic" is the new "couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery" https://t.co/adxf9vjGpM

— Chris Atkins (@scatatkins) February 8, 2021

Henry Mance had a suggestion we could get on board with.

how about a one-off special episode of Alan Partridge, where his Travelodge becomes a quarantine hotel

— Henry Mance (@henrymance) February 8, 2021

Monkey tennis might be the only sport open to spectator, this summer.

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Source Pippa Crerar Image Screengrab, Keem Ibarra on Unsplash