‘What’s the weirdest thing you saw on your commute?’ – 25 funniest answers

14.

I was once on a train passing through Madrid and a very respetable-looking elderly man got on and went from passenger to passenger cheerfully trying to guess their names. His wife stood behind him shaking her head, rolling her eyes and calling him a “jilipollas”.

— Simon Bruni (@SimonBruni) February 13, 2021

15.

I sat opposite a bloke who was singing a lullaby to something wrapped in smelly newspaper which he was holding like a baby. Turned out to be a salmon.

— Argyll (@ElizabethArgyll) February 13, 2021

16.

My wife watched a man on a bus eat potato salad using a credit card as some kind of rudimentary mouth shovel.

— namonaug (@guanoman) February 13, 2021

17.

A woman who pulled out a bowl, milk and cereal and had her breakfast. Made eye contact with the man sat the other side of her with the universal ‘wtf’. That man was Ed Balls.

— Lara Badger (@LaraBadger1) February 13, 2021

18.

Similar story except he pulled out a vegetable peeler and started peeling and then chopping carrots!

— Manics1 (@Manics1itsme) February 13, 2021

19.

Once on the bus home there was a guy talking loudly on his phone, but instead of a phone it was his wallet.

— Wyn Davies-Batista (@TheHighRedeemer) February 13, 2021

20.

On my very first District Line commute 11 years ago, I sat opposite a guy who peeled and ate an entire bulb’s worth of raw garlic cloves, leaving a little papery pile of bits qon the floor in front of him.

— Stoo (@Stoooooooo) February 13, 2021

21.

Someone next to me opened up a tub of coleslaw and proceeded to eat it with their hands. I had to move before I started throwing up

— Pete F (@lateofthepete) February 13, 2021

22.

Same but raw, pink £1 for 10 sausages. Just ripped open the packet and started chomping away. My friend and colleague wrote a blog about it. It left him scarred.

— Dan Howdle (@DanHowdle) February 13, 2021

23.

I saw a man shave in his seat when I was flying back to the UK. Shave in his seat, James.

— Romil Patel (@rom_j_patel) February 13, 2021

24.

Woman on Preston to Edinburgh train with a cute Jack Russell. Sits diagonally opposite me. Opens her bag removes an egg box which contained 6 hard boiled eggs. She peels them, then feeds half a dozen boiled eggs to the dog. Carlisle to Edinburgh was a fog of eggy dog farts 🤮🤢

— Ellie (@Ellie_Outside_) February 13, 2021

25.

I sat & watched a lady break up individual crisps into tiny pieces creating a small crisp mountain. She then got out a small wine bottle & glass and drank it, eating her tiny weeny crisps whilst chatting on the phone like nothing odd was happening at all. I think about it often.

— MazRg (@mazRg) February 13, 2021

And there was a few more from Jim himself.

Now thinking about how fucked up it was how excited I got when I managed to get myself a seat on the luggage rack and then sitting there like a fucking bag

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) February 13, 2021

Just remembered there was a guy with no trousers going down the train inspecting everyone’s tickets. Me and my friend showed him ours rather than risk trouserless confrontation.

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) February 13, 2021

And there was also this one, taking us all the way back to the beginning.

Once had some pervert watch me eat my baked potato

— Daniel ❤️ Jose (@jonnyruffs) February 13, 2021

Boom!

And just in case you don’t already, follow Jim on Twitter here! He’s got a book out, don’t you know …

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