25 funny tweets of the week
13.
Him: Wouldn’t it be cool to be one of those billionaires going into space?
Me: You could’ve stopped at billionaires.
— S🌟tellaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! (@Havish_AF) October 5, 2021
14.
If you’re having a bad day, please remember this inspirational quote I got in a pack of stickers from China pic.twitter.com/ogO6U503Pj
— ally (@TragicAllyHere) October 5, 2021
15.
Introduced my mum to @netflix late morning and so far she's watched 9 hours of the Crown and hasn't eaten.
— Danny Wallace (@dannywallace) October 4, 2021
16.
Harry Potter and https://t.co/qN8qXrgIrX
— DJBOOO👻 (@DJ_Barc) October 6, 2021
17.
[after a zombie encounter]
me: you gotta shoot me
friend: but what if we find a cure
me: *aware of how much zombies walk* please
— Village of the Adamned (@Browtweaten) October 6, 2021
18.
Better work email sign offs than “cheers” or “sincerely”
– You’ve made a powerful enemy today
– Now let’s never speak of this again
– Cry more
– I must now return to the enchanted willow from whence I came
– This was totally unnecessary
– Peace, asshole— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) October 6, 2021
19.
Just tried ringing Dyson because my vacuum isn't working properly and what a surprise, they aren’t picking up either.
— Alf (@whoelsebutalf) October 6, 2021
20.
when I was just a little boy I asked my mother "what will I be? will I be pretty? will I be rich?" here's what she said to me: no
— joe (@mutablejoe) October 8, 2021
21.
Maintenance, Scheduled Maintenance. pic.twitter.com/LonhRuPOel
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) October 6, 2021
22.
A lot of people are confused by the concept of "cat years," so here's a guide to how you can think of the age of a cat.
less than 1 year: Just a little baby
1-3 years: Just a little baby
4-6 years: Just a little baby
7-10 years: Just a little baby
11+ years: elderly baby
— 🍊🍊April🍊🍊 (@ALotOfOranges) October 6, 2021
23.
This is a bad sign pic.twitter.com/ZgwbNdj4iL
— David Rowe (@mrdavidrowe) October 6, 2021
24.
Hi, most annoying person you’ve ever encountered here! I noticed this post you wrote in 3 seconds doesn’t line up with every experience I’ve ever had. This is extremely harmful to me, the main character of the universe,
— honest jabe (@jaynooch) October 7, 2021
25.
“Please arrive to your doctor appointment 15 minutes early so our secretary can explain why we’re running 45 minutes late.”
— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) October 7, 2021
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Our 25 favourite funny tweets of the week
Image Olya Kobrusova on Pexels
