Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
It’s already March. We’ve had the aurora borealis visible quite far south, a hard reset on the Northern Ireland Brexit deal – and turnips. But none of that matters for the next five minutes as you take a break to see what funny stuff we found on Twitter this week.
25 nuggets of comedy gold.
1.
How long should a chicken last in the freezer?
Because I put one in last night and it was dead by morning.
— Pádraig Belton (@PadraigBelton) February 26, 2023
2.
Do you think when a Ghostbuster dies it's like when a cop gets sent to prison?
— Recreational Dentist (@pbAstronaut) February 27, 2023
3.
Want to write adverts? Can you swap nouns for adjectives? You've got the job.
Find your happy, in marketing.
— Alasdair Beckett-King (@MisterABK) February 26, 2023
4.
You can’t hurt me. You’re not a restaurant who ran out of garlic bread
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) March 1, 2023
5.
6.
Me: *stands on one leg*
My flamenco teacher: No.
— Jason, ex Inferis (@benedictsred) March 1, 2023
7.
No problem, 3 people is my maximum anyway pic.twitter.com/rCT2D2aIyd
— Julicorn (@ChicksRule) February 28, 2023
8.
Beyoncé should create a dating app for women over fifty called ‘Older Single Ladies’.
— Flups (@TheRealFlups) March 1, 2023
9.
*Sends one tweet*
The Twitter app: pic.twitter.com/L6WXvXrtmE
— Seán Burke (@SeanBurkeShow) March 1, 2023
10.
Bought a snake just so I wouldn’t waste the name ‘Hisstopher’.
— The Nostalgic (@TheNostalgicCo) February 28, 2023
11.
Margaret Atwood is a major player in an increasingly rare domain: the author photo where the author looks pleased to see you. pic.twitter.com/1xIsHFCHqF
— John Self (@john_self) February 27, 2023
12.
— DJT: The Mar-A-Lago Nutjob (@LockUpCheeto) March 1, 2023