24 all-time favourite funny Advent calendar posts

One of the best things about the run-up to Christmas is getting an Advent calendar that gives you something you like every day. It used to be chocolate, but now, there are cheese calendars, various alcoholic drinks, even socks.

For us, the internet has been like an Advent calendar of funny stuff, so we’ve gathered some of this year’s best calendar jokes – plus some absolute gems from the more distant past.

1.

PARENTS BEWARE! My son opened a window of his so-called CHILD-FRIENDLY Paw Patrol advent calendar and the chocolate was in the shape of a GUN! Just to check, I looked at another chocolate and it was a HAND GRENADE. I’m absolutely FURIOUS – Nickelodeon you’re a disgrace. pic.twitter.com/Arf4bIx1Qp

— Simon Harris – Man Behaving Dadly (THAT’S DADLY) (@simonharris_mbd) December 2, 2023

2.

I’ve got a Premier Inn advent calendar – I can’t open any of the windows.

— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) December 4, 2023

3.

I don’t have an advent calendar so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating whatever’s in there

— Rach (@RachaelvsWorld) December 1, 2018

4.

Just opened an advent calendar and necked the fucking lot. They won't control me with their numbers. Oh no.

— Geraint (@geraintgriffith) December 9, 2023

5.

According to the amount of chocolate I've eaten in these Advent calendars there's 137 days in December.

— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) December 10, 2023

6.

Stomach’s killing me pic.twitter.com/muk2y0tiiC

— Glenn Moore (@TheNewsAtGlenn) December 7, 2023

7.

How about an advent calendar where the numbers are in order. I’m a busy man, can’t be fucking around looking for number 13

— Tom Lawrinson (@TomLawrinson) December 13, 2023

8.

Cultural question – in your family, do you leave any windows closed on your Ronnie Barker advent calendar?

We open all ours.

— Sean Patrick (@seanptellsjokes) December 1, 2023

9.

Just opened my advent calendar, and it's Cilla Black singing The Thong Song with an RAC roadside assistance team.

— David Whitley (@mrdavidwhitley) December 11, 2023

10.

This is just the absolute worst advent calendar I’ve ever gotten pic.twitter.com/XTSFI5u1fr

— maybe: clare (travis’ version) (10 minute version) (@clur19) December 4, 2019

11.

I'm that skint, I opened the door on my advent calendar and a bailiff was standing there.

— Col (@countcol) December 13, 2023

12.

Create a life-sized Advent calendar this Christmas by knocking on a different door each day and asking for chocolate.

— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) December 1, 2019