25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
The guy who finished 3rd came from nowhere! pic.twitter.com/hnm5Fdelht
— Josh Jeffery (@JeffCarnage) March 1, 2024
14.
when the waiter asks me if i want more balsamic vinegar in my olive oil dip pic.twitter.com/voR5CotCCE
— Crowsa Luxemburg (@quendergeer) March 2, 2024
15.
A good friend of mine is a neighborhood planner
He has been my go-to source of information for the housing market over the past few years
He is currently working on a new neighborhood in Dallas, TX
Really happy to see new houses still being built in 2024 pic.twitter.com/NKbZP7Ejrg
— Dividend Hero (@HeroDividend) February 25, 2024
16.
Million-dollar idea:
Upload your podcast to YouTube, but with a video of a generic-looking Zoom meeting, so people can tune in and pretend they're working. It looks like important quarterly sales stuff, but it's really The True Crime Murder And Makeup Tips Hour.
— D.N. Schmidt, science fiction author (@Writepop) February 27, 2024
17.
Once when I was on a London Underground train I saw Fiona Bruce reading a newspaper and I thought “that must sound great in her head.”
— Rob Auton (@RobertAuton) February 26, 2024
18.
Spaniel costume under seat pic.twitter.com/D2s1dPch3O
— David O'Doherty (@phlaimeaux) March 2, 2024
19.
I’ve tried to speak at our school board meetings for several months. But apparently ‘Our educators should look like the teacher in the Van Halen video’ isn’t considered an important topic to discuss.
— Larry’s Twin 99 (@LarrysTwin99) February 27, 2024
20.
Someone once told me that women are like books, and they were right: they have names and spines, and there's some in the library.
— Geraint (@geraintgriffith) March 2, 2024
21.
In an alternate universe Tom Baker's Doctor Who regenerated in to Miriam Margolyes and she told a Dalek to fuck off.
— HappyToast★ (@IamHappyToast) March 2, 2024
22.
is it too early to plan for halloween pic.twitter.com/c6TZaGwcrW
— ༝ ༝ (@samaoxcx) February 29, 2024
23.
I thought “prima donna” was “pre Madonna” until I was like 25, I thought it meant you were acting like you were about to be rich and famous like Madonna so nobody ever corrected me because I would always use the phrase correctly
— DeWitt B. Fartin (@DeWittBFartin) February 26, 2024
24.
Top tier museum interp pic.twitter.com/J4l7t7KyNa
— Angela (@TheWrightAngela) February 25, 2024
25.
Well, I don't know what the medical term is, but I've reached the point in the menopause where I've just bought a recorder and intend to learn "Scarborough Fair."
— Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) February 26, 2024
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25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Image Mollie Goodfellow