This epic Paul Danan ‘tale’ is so fabulously written they should make it an A-level text

John Plunkett. Updated May 2nd, 2024

There’s a fabulous Paul Danan Instagram account which, it’s fair to say, shouldn’t entirely be taken at face value.

Except the former Hollyoaks actor and Love Island contestant is also one of the people behind it – at least, he was when Metro wrote about it back in the day – so it’s not just any old spoof account then.

And we can only hope he had something to do with this latest missive which has just gone viral because it’s so fabulously written they should make it an A-level text. Well, we exaggerate only slightly …

It went viral after it was shared by @our_jesse on Twitter.

I’m sorry but Paul Danan remains undefeated on instagram pic.twitter.com/5j55rV8D27

— remand chic (@our_jesse) May 2, 2024

And here it is again in full!

Simply epic.

That is fucking literature!

— Buckers (@deathofbuckley) May 2, 2024

‘Bagna Carta’

“A thrice of treacles’

Lovely stuff! https://t.co/tNxTdZXhil

— 웃immy 웃azz (@JimmyJazzEsq) May 2, 2024

The man’s a poet

— remand chic (@our_jesse) May 2, 2024

I don’t think I’ve ever read a closing line as good as “because I hated the idea of good bacteria.”

— Martin Indoors (@terminalboy) May 2, 2024

The hashtag mmmDanan just made me yelp like a dog who’s just had its paw stood on. https://t.co/5BI3VP11jL

— Stephen ✨ (@lionkingbitches) May 2, 2024

What? Hahahahahahahahahahaha

— Right Turn Clyde (@BackIndeed) May 2, 2024

Thrice the treacles

— remand chic (@our_jesse) May 2, 2024

And if it’s put you in the mood for more of this sort of thing, follow @paul_danan_official on Instagram here!

Got to take your hat off to this one https://t.co/HArwbn4DMi

— Finton (@Finton05408696) May 2, 2024

Source Instagram @paul_danan_official