Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week

On the day that Twitter finally officially becomes x.com, we can confirm that we don’t care and we’re still calling this Tweets of the Week. We know what we mean, you know what we mean – and it might slightly irritate Elon Musk.

So, here are the funniest tweets we saw over the past seven days, especially for you, Elon. Just kidding – they’re for everyone else.

1.

I've read all of Stephen King's books. The hardest part was sneaking into his house.

— Martin Pilgrim (@MartinPilgrim1) May 13, 2024

2.

my mother has a medical podcast where she self diagnoses her ailments it’s called my voicemail and it happens every morning at 9 am.

— kim (@KimmyMonte) May 12, 2024

3.

A bit unfair … pic.twitter.com/Skecr7t9G1

— John O'Connell (@jdpoc) May 14, 2024

4.

When someone asks me what my dream job is it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

— Leen McBeans ꪜ (@LeenMcBeans) May 14, 2024

5.

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

— Cali (@calidaysay) May 13, 2024

6.

Just phoned customer services & heard a series of clicks. The call was recorded for training porpoises

— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) May 14, 2024

7.

Looks like the team of detectives who arrested the Yorkshire Ripper taking a photo with him before they charged him and banged him up. https://t.co/LkBqEiATge

— daysofspeed (@daysofspeed) May 13, 2024

8.

Your fella pretending to study the cask ales board before ordering a pint of Carling pic.twitter.com/YfEEKhWxyt

— Culture Ultras Football Podcast (@thecultraspod) May 12, 2024

9.

tech savvy-kids helping out their parents in the

2000s: fixing the printer
2010s: turning off image smoothing on TV
2020s: explaining that both strange calls from you asking for money and everything they see on facebook are the products of dreaming machines trying to rob them

— merritt k (@merrittk) May 14, 2024

10.

To be honest, I'm no expert, but even I might be able to figure out what the problem is here pic.twitter.com/zBHA81fbFN

— All about Steve (@1StevieKilner) May 14, 2024

11.

Chris Pine looks like a one-time Wimbledon ladies’ singles champion working as a tennis commentator. pic.twitter.com/g2oG0tpgy7

— Moog (@a_toots) May 14, 2024

12.

my wife: “we should go to that buffet where you slipped on fettuccine alfredo you spilled while running to the cheese fountain”

me: “you’ll have to be more specific”

— (@MoMohler) May 15, 2024