In ‘This is not a proper country’ news, the Daily Mail has discovered ‘fancy woke’ sandwiches – 23 tasty take-downs
Like a farmer rotating crops, the Daily Mail runs through a repeating pattern of ‘Meghan Markle did it’, ‘Immigration baaaaaad’‘, ‘Look how old/overweight/unattractive this woman is’, ‘Keir Starmer is a Communist’, ‘Young people are the worst’, and ‘Everything we don’t like is woke’.
In what must have been the best day in the DM office since they found the recipe for National Trust scones, they’ve managed to combine the last two categories with some astonishingly self-parodying reporting on sandwiches.
The survey, conducted by Allinson’s bakery, into the nation’s sandwich habits led the DM to declare all these options woke –
Avocado
Chicken
Continental cheese
Crisps
Being hot
A lack of onion
Which suggests that serving a hot chicken, avocado and brie sandwich with crisps might just make Mail Editor Ted Verity‘s head explode.
Let’s get to the reviews.
1.
What the fuck is a “woke filling”?
“I’ll have a bap with feminism and the Martin Luther King ‘I Have a Dream’ speech on it please. No butter” x pic.twitter.com/MH6SHaHx89
— Buckers (@deathofbuckley) November 18, 2024
2.
3.
According to @DailyMailUK a sandwich filling can be “woke”. They really are fucking idiots aren’t they ? pic.twitter.com/TCyoMlg6L7
— Paddy Briggs ️ (@PaddyBriggs) November 18, 2024
4.
5.
6.
The Mail reporting on all the important things. Only eat woke sandwiches from now on. https://t.co/8VzcciiYdI
— The_Ouroboros (@The_Ouroboros__) November 18, 2024
7.
8.
I remember when a sandwich were a PROPER sandwich. Proper stale factory bread, wit’ proper cheese slices and proper salad dressing, all wrapped up in proper sweaty plastic.
Aye. Them were’t days. https://t.co/ESzPQQ7ygG— Simon Myerson KC ️ (@SCynic1) November 18, 2024
9.
10.
So apparently, now, sandwich fillings are “woke“, unless it is ham and mustard.
Previously, they have claimed that muesli, and watching history documentaries, are “woke”.
This is why anybody using the word “woke other than ironically, is a Cunt. pic.twitter.com/d8dUh6NSEI
— John O'Connell (@jdpoc) November 18, 2024