25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Welcome to the Poke’s round-up of our favourite tweets from the past week. If you’re in the U.K. or Ireland, there’s a chance you were blown here.
On a day when you shouldn’t go out unless you have to, what better way of killing a bit of time than with a cuppa and a few jokes? That was rhetorical, by the way.
1.
On Thursday night I finally got round to watching that BBC show where everyone has a different opinion as to which one is a traitor. Question Time.
— Paul Sinha (@paulybengali) January 19, 2025
2.
you want me to attend a work meeting? the thing that killed Julius Caesar?
— Neil Renic (@NC_Renic) January 22, 2025
3.
Putting a bay leaf in a recipe even though idk what the fuck it does pic.twitter.com/CzYMTsgCef
— Meg (@megannn_lynne) January 22, 2025
4.
Friend: *watching the news* Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium.
Me: *covered in ink* Maybe the squid was being a dick.
— Daisy the Awkward Badass (@Chicago_Daisy) January 23, 2025
5.
I don’t need a mood ring, I have a face.
— ßευtίƒυℓεηίgмα7 (@BeUtifulEnigma7) January 22, 2025
6.
Please keep my family in your thoughts. Our microwave broke, and we have to wait an hour for a baked potato.
— Emma Beasley (@JustBeingEmma) January 22, 2025
7.
The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.
— Joel Jeffrey (@joeljeffrey) January 22, 2025
8.
Always suspicious when your neighbour has a new car. Are they borrowing it? If so what’s happened to their usual car? Was it stolen? Did they crash it? Is it in the garage? Have they sold it? Or maybe they have a visitor! But who? Family member? New partner? Or maybe they’re test…
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) January 22, 2025
9.
Anyone who says money can’t buy happiness has never owned a car with a heated steering wheel when it’s -5° outside.
— Robert Sterling (@RobertMSterling) January 22, 2025
10.
the gulf of mexico should’ve been renamed to sea señor.
— signüll (@signulll) January 22, 2025
11.
Seeing as we’re just renaming stuff now… pic.twitter.com/ZJi0dhfXzM
— Dublin Airport (@DublinAirport) January 21, 2025
12.
My 7yo forgot the word for intestines and called them "meat lines in the stomach that are taller than you" so we are not putting him in charge of naming things
— meghan (@deloisivete) January 22, 2025