‘What’s something people do to be ‘nice’ that actually drives you mad?’ – 24 kindnesses that are actually cruel
Being ‘nice’ is a wonderful quality most of the time. Nobody likes a nasty piece of work, after all.
But there is such a thing as being too pleasant, trying a bit too hard, and ending up being incredibly annoying instead. Over on the AskUK subreddit, user Fuzzy_Zucchini8333 asked ‘What’s something people do to be ‘nice’ that actually drives you mad?’ and added their own example:
‘For me, it’s when a driver who clearly has the right of way insists on letting me go first especially at junctions. It just creates confusion.
‘No one knows who’s actually moving it slows everyone down and increases the chance of an accident. Please just take your right of way. I won’t think you’re rude I’ll think you know how roads work.’
Which prompted an outpouring of irritation from people who had been overwhelmed by agreeableness.
1.
‘The other day I was behind a driver who stopped to let a dog walker cross the road, even though their car and mine were the only ones on the road in either direction on a long straight road. It would have been quicker for everyone involved if they just didn’t stop because the dog walker took a moment to trust that the car had stopped properly too. I was just like ‘Why?’.’
–entitledtree
2.
‘Stopping to let me cross at a zebra crossing when I’m still half a mile down the road before the crossing. Like yes, please stop but not when I’m not at the crossing yet.’
–hawkeneye1998bs
3.
‘Wait around an ‘extra five minutes’ if people are late for a meeting. I’m not Mr Punctuality, but if a meeting is arranged for 10am, just start at 10am, and let people arrive late.’
–SleepySasquatch
4.
‘When someone says ‘smile’. Usually at a time when i feel neither particularly sad or happy. I’m just chilling.’
–WelshBen
5.
‘Holding a door open when you’re more than a few metres away from it, forcing you to run so they don’t spend too long holding it. Just go, your time is more valuable than my having to open a door!’
–docju
6.
‘Talking to or about old people like they’re ‘cute’ (Awwww, isn’t that sweet?! Look at her go! etc.). I’m sure they’re being ‘nice’ but it’s condescending and infantalising.’
–ChangingMonkfish
7.
‘Attaching the damn cap to plastic bottles, who doesn’t screw the cap back on when they throw them away!?’
–ExoatmosphericKill
8.
‘Probably in work when people ask me if I’ve got a spare min to ask me a thing. Just ask me the thing.’
–Antique-Conflique
9.
‘I get the bus to work and whenever my boss is in she insists on giving me a lift home. Every now and then I make up some excuse as to why I can’t, but I can’t do that every time so a lot of the time I have to say yes.
‘But then she’s the MD of the company, so it gets to 5pm when I would usually leave and I have to wait up to 45 mins for her to finish what she’s doing before we can go home. And then I have to sit in the car with her and most of the time she will steer the conversation back to work related stuff and I have to continue to be in ‘performance mode’ like I’m back in my job interview. To top it all off the easiest place for her to drop me off is about twice as far away from my house as the bus stop is.’
–tangles3
10.
‘Not talk about the thing that’s causing you distress because they’re worried talking about it will cause you distress. Makes tonnes of sense why people would do this (I’m guilty of it myself) but in reality it makes things worse (usually).’
–ClassicMaximum7786
11.
‘My manager at work opens every single interaction with a minute of bland pleasantries and small talk, even if we have already spoken very recently. I get that they’re doing it because whenever they speak to me they’re probably asking me to do something and they feel the need to soften the blow, but that’s literally my job so please stop asking me how my weekend was on a Wednesday and just get to the point.’
–OceanSquab
12.
‘It once took my cousins wife two days to ask for a favour via text, due to back and forth pleasantries.’
–MaltDizney