25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
Happy World Otter Day! Not many people know this but in the first draft of The Godfather, Don Corleone was going to be a taxidermist with a passion for making homemade bombs. His most famous line was originally going to be “I’ll make him an otter he can’t defuse”
— Adam Sharp (@AdamCSharp) May 28, 2025
14.
You learn a lot about yourself when you leave the house and have to interact with people. For example, I learned I hate leaving the house and having to interact with people.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) May 27, 2025
15.
Sometimes you hear a song and you just know it was written to get that car commercial bag
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) May 28, 2025
16.
You only hear about folks being ruthless. No one's ever like, "That dude is straight up full of ruth."
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) May 27, 2025
17.
Girl just told me she ghosted me because I got too drunk and rode the mechanical bull 3 times on our first date
— mbg (@gloless) May 25, 2025
18.
If you have a ticking clock on the wall you might also enjoy playing chess with death
— Natalie Would (@_NatalieWould) May 26, 2025
19.
Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from and why.
— Lolly Gagger (@TrueTorontoGirl) May 27, 2025
20.
There should be an option in the trending tab to filter out YouTuber drama. Those are not real people and real things do not happen to them.
— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) May 28, 2025
21.
Actually, bears do pretty much everything in the woods.
— Bob Golen (@BobGolen) May 27, 2025
22.
Apparently it's "National Do Some Actual Fucking Work Day", according to my boss.
— boo-boo-ɾɑҍҍíԵ (@StrangerTings5) May 28, 2025
23.
A giraffes soup would be fucking cold by the time it reaches the bottom of it's throat. Have you ever thought about that?
No
You only think about yourself
— Vαɳҽʂʂα (@DreamsSarcastic) May 9, 2025
24.
Don't touch that, that's my emotional support last nerve
— Ⓜ️isterD (@MisterD78UK) May 28, 2025
25.
My husband: I wish I hadn’t gotten you that stupid blender for your birthday
Me drinking 3 frozen pizzas: why
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) May 25, 2025
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25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
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