‘What is the most childish thing you’ve heard someone say in a professional environment?’ – 23 alleged adults who should know better

By the time people are old enough to hold down jobs, they should be well beyond the stage of saying and doing silly things, right? Well, you’d hope so, but it’s highly likely that we’ve all had the unfortunate experience of working with somebody who does not seem to have matured past primary school.

They’ve been talking about this on the AskUK subreddit after user No_Doughnut3257 posted this:

What is the most childish thing you’ve heard someone say in a professional environment? Real life example: a person delivering some training to a room full of people asking someone to clap after they sneezed so that fairies don’t die.

And they weren’t the only one who was forced to spend time with adults whose mental ages were lower than their shoe size.

1.

‘I was at an area meeting for a company I used to work for and got up to go for a wee in the middle of it and my area manager said ‘Uhhh….where do you think you’re going?’. I said ‘The loo’. She said ‘Did you ask?’

I just proceeded to go to the loo and have a wee and come back. She waited until I got back to carry on. It wasn’t important and we had the minutes emailed to us afterwards.’
–Deep_Banana_6521

2.

‘My last office was like working in a creche. The one that stands out the most was one of our Client Support women having a full on tantrum that she wasn’t allowed to have the same day off, unplanned, as two of the other girls in the team (who had booked formal annual leave months in advance). They were going shopping, to get nails done and then cocktails. She turned up to work, saw they weren’t there and then begged me to let her leave at 9:30am.

She actually stamped her foot like a toddler, sobbing by the printer, yelling, ‘It’s just not FAIR! I always KNEW you liked them better than me!’. She was 29 for Christ’s sake.’
–crgoodw

3.

‘When I was being given a tour of my workplace, the manager pointed at the toilets and said ‘This is where you shit.”
–Character_Athlete877

4.

‘Any one that says they are going on their holibobs.’
–Violet351

5.

‘In the Gulf on a Navy Frigate many years ago. The senior weapon engineering officer came down to see us on watch to explain exactly what the ship was doing in the area. On the map we had, he drew two circles around the two oil plats we were protecting. He paused and said in his posh officer voice, ‘Oh, dear, I seem to have drawn a pair of boobies.’

Silence.’
–Equivalent_Tiger_7

6.

‘I yawned discreetly in a meeting and someone said ‘Oh sorry, are we keeping you up?’. I replied ‘I’m very sorry, my child has been very unwell’ and they went bright red and retreated in confusion.’
–sunheadeddeity

7.

‘A director talk about her marriage break down and how she meets her new fella for passionate sex in hotels… This was in the kitchen area with multiple staff present. Some people just over share!’
–MagicMadjeski

8.

‘A friend had a manager who did the thing where you say, ‘What’s that on your shirt?’ and when the person looks down at their shirt you stick your finger under their nose and pull their face up. He did this in a meetng with 30+ people looking on. She went to HR with that. He was given a warning. Should have been fired.’
–Realistic_Pickle_007

9.

‘Mine is witnessing a colleague say something childish and inappropriate to two American colleagues. The corridor between the offices was wide enough for conversations/work avoidance and I was talking to the American colleagues when Milly walked up and just announced to the three of us ‘My pussy has worms!’.

The three of us stood looking aghast and I could see the Americans really struggling to process what she’d said. I got my brain in gear and just kept repeating ‘She means her cat has worms. Pussy in the UK is another word for cat.’ It has been over 20 years but I still remember the look of horror and disgust on their faces and I am fairly sure they avoided her as much as possible afterwards. One of them was the head of HR too.’
–OkCaterpillar8941

10.

‘I got reported for using a thumbs up emoji in response to a question asking if I understood their instructions. I thought that was pretty childish.’
–ItsUs-YouKnow-Us

11.

‘The COO’s executive assistant emailed me to ask if I could set up the COO’s out of office to say ‘I am away from the office today as I have a poorly tummy, please contact xxxxxx in my absence’.’
–threatleveltesco

12.

”Finders keepers, losers weepers!’ in defence of being caught taking other people’s lunch and drinks from the office fridge.’
–TimedDelivery