‘What’s the most cringeworthy corporate buzzword you’ve come across?’ – 25 synergetic phrases we should circle back to never

If you’ve ever worked in an office you’ll be well aware of the kind of person who, for some reason, loves to stick incredibly annoying business jargon into every meeting or conversation.

They’re usually the type who has been given a little bit of authority and is desperate for everyone to know about it. In fact, they’re probably your line manager.

They’ve been discussing this on the AskUK subreddit after user AnonymousTimewaster posted this:

‘What’s the most cringe-worthy corporate buzzword you’ve come across? Someone said the word ‘solutionise’ in a demo meeting today.’

Solutionise. Kill us now. Plenty of other people had examples that will are similarly excruciating, like these…

1.

‘Let’s stir-fry this in the mind-wok. No, let’s all die in a house fire, instead.’
–FearlessCaution

2.

‘Nice to E-Meet you! No its not, its really not.’
–Regantowers

3.

”Resource’ as a synonym for ‘person’.’
–ViridianKumquat

4.

”Bio-break’ for going for a pee. Just use one of the thousands of perfectly good euphemisms we have already, if it’s too sick to say the word toilet, Julian.’
–MarwoodChap

5.

‘Calling a meeting room the ‘War Room’. Calm down.’
–MatthewKvatch

6.

”Thought leader’ – always the person who does absolutely fuck all except for talk shite!’
–phy6rjs

7.

‘Cybrarian. As in a cyber librarian. I still don’t know what that involved.’
–LidgetTheMidget

8.

‘Disbenefit. No, it’s a fucking problem.’
–elom44

9.

‘My company has corporate ‘north star goals’ one of which is ‘Locking Arms’, a synonym of working together, makes me cringe every time I hear it.’
–Wacky_Badger

10.

‘Learnings. We already have a word for that. It’s lessons, FFS.’
–Mindless_Aide_1614

11.

‘Working with a consultancy firm and they over use the term ‘let’s double click on that’ this is to indicate emphasising or narrowing in on a topic. It drives me absolutely mad.’
–ashley8bit

12.

‘Diarise. It’s f-ing schedule, dolts.’
–ljofa

13.

”We’ll socialise that’ – you mean you’ll tell someone?’
–shimbe16

14.

‘‘Customer’ when relating to a person using a government service.’
–Nice_Put4300