11 wedding guests shared the most chaotic celebrations they witnessed and maybe eloping is the better plan
7.
We arrived at the [wedding venue] and headed in. The catering staff looked quizzically at us and we said, ‘W and J’s wedding…?’ A chef gestured to the open French doors. We walked through and found ourselves…between the priest and the couple, as a singer to one side was serenading the couple, and of course, in front of everyone.
A wave of titters and gasps flowed through the crowd. We ducked down and scurried into the nearest seats we could see in the second row. We later found out that those were left empty for a pair of dead relatives. After the ceremony, many people came and chatted to us – old friends, their friends who thought it was funny/rude, and the best man, who awkwardly let us know that the groom, my ‘buddy,’ was furious.
Shortly after this, the mother of an elementary school friend came and invited me to peruse the name cards on the dining tables. ‘Is your name at this table? No. This one? No.’ And so on. Next, the mother of the bride came and let us know that catering had, um, catered to 60 people and we were #61 and #62.
Jeremy Simms
8.
After the ceremony was over, we headed to the restaurant where we were offered hot wine or punch and some cheese and meat with bread. On the table was a soup with a few vegetables and some sausages. After an hour and a half of being there, the bride walked by every table and gave name tags to a few people. YES, THE BRIDE GAVE THE NAME TAGS. That was their way to dismiss the guests that they didn’t want to stay and keep the party going with the people they actually wanted.
Marinés Arleo Pol
9.
When I was 15, our cleaner invited our whole family to her wedding and reception. We were friendly with her as she’d given one of our puppies a home when our dog had a litter, but we hadn’t known her long. Being 15, I didn’t really want to go, but my mum said we wouldn’t have to stay long and we would just go for the reception, dance a bit, and come home.
It was in the town hall, a big, grand room in the nearby town. When we got there, we saw the bride and groom dancing, but hardly anyone else in the room. My mum checked the time thinking we were early or late, but it turns out no one had turned up! There were my parents, my two brothers and me, and then no more than seven other people in this huge, heavily decorated room with a large buffet that would have fed around 100 people.
We felt bad for the bride and groom so we tried to make up for the lack of people by dancing and eating a lot, but they were acting as if it was totally normal. They seemed to be having a really good time. After a while, a couple of people left and the five of us in my family made up half of the guests! I felt very awkward, and instead of staying an hour or two we had to stay the whole night, all the while pretending we were having a great time.
We found out later the reason no one had showed. It turns out that the bride and groom had been married before. In fact, they’d been married and divorced nine times! The reception we went to was their 10th wedding, which explains why none of their family and friends wanted to waste any more time on them.
Theodora van der Beek
10.
[My friend] tells us that he is engaged to be married, asks me to be his best man, and we proceed towards his wedding. The wedding was to take place in a city about 45 miles away, so it was drivable. I go to the rehearsal and it’s a quick 15-minute walk-through, a small plate of sandwiches, and home I go. Come Sunday for the wedding, I put on my rented tux, my wife has her formal dress on, and we drive out to the wedding, arriving well before the ceremony.
The ceremony is done, and we proceed to the reception hall, walk up to the place card table and find that we, along with one of the ushers and his wife are seated at the children’s table.
Stan Greenspan
11.
The wealthier bride’s family raised a selfish monster. She WENT OUT OF HER MIND that others in the wedding party had walked on the special runner to the altar. That runner was FOR HER and her ONLY. Literally, the parents and the bridesmaids/groomsmen were expected to make their way to the altar on the bare floor, then this extra extra special runner…was supposed to be brought out so she could do her traipsing to the altar on it.
Barrie Creedon Wennberg
Source Quora