Celebrating National Tell An Old Joke Day with 17 of our favourite oldie but goodie classics
Sometimes the old jokes are the best. The ones that have been around forever and make you laugh and groan in equal measures. We’ve rounded up 12 of our favourites. Now we want to hear yours!
1.
Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world?
It only had one dog. It was a shih Tzu.
2.
What’s E.T. short for?
Because he’s got little legs.
3.
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
4.
What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?
A wonky.
5.
Two monkeys are in a bath. The first monkey says “OOO, OOO, OOO, ARR, ARR, OOO, EEE, EEE, EEE, OOO”
The second monkey says, “If the water is too hot, put some cold in it!”
6.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Phillipe Phillope.
7.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer.
8.
What do you call a deer with no eyes who isn’t moving?
Still no-eye-deer.
9.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
10.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
A little old lady.
A little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
11.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
12.
Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One turns to the other one and asks, “Do you smell fish?”
13.
What’s a foot long and slippery?
A slipper!
14.
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef…
15.
Today I ate a Ploughman’s Lunch.
He wasn’t very happy.
16.
How many elephants can you get in a Mini?
4. Two in the front and two in the back.
How many tigers can you get in a Mini?
None. It’s full of elephants!
17.
What’s the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?
One is an Australian animal and the other is a Geordie stuck in a lift
And a bonus …
What’s the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is very heavy,
And the other is a little lighter.
Image Pexels